This post and topic has been featured on a radio interview from Freedom Doors Ministries and you can listen to that interview by Clicking Here.
We live in a day and culture where marriage is something that it never used to be. What used to be something guarded and sacred is now unprotected and ungodly. Even the definition of marriage is up for grabs for whatever seems to be the most popular in any given year or decade. Most of our culture would prefer not to even get married and just live together. When subjects like these tend to spiral out of control, how are we supposed to make sense of it? What is marriage and is it only between one man and one woman?
These are questions that we need to answer. Can you imagine if there was no answer or definition of marriage, what that would look like? It seems that it would constantly change its meaning and sway in one direction or another based on popular opinion. Is that what’s happening in our culture and in our nation today?
Is marriage only between a man and a woman? Before we answer that, let’s look at some popular viewpoints on marriage and help bring clarity to what a real marriage is.
Same-Sex Marriage
This type of marriage can be defined as a man marrying another man or a woman marrying another woman. Most of the battles in favor of this is to allow two men (or two women) to have spousal benefits and parenting rights and not to discriminate against them since these were only previously available in marriages with one man and one woman.
In 2004, Massachusetts was the first state to legalize same-sex marriage over spousal benefits and parenting rights. What happened next was a spark across the country of people stepping up in order to receive the same benefits in marriage and to express their love for one another.
Plural Marriage
Plural marriage (also known as polygamy) has been around for quite some time, but is only gaining traction lately because of the legal victories of same-sex marriage. This is where a man can have multiple wives or a woman can have multiple husbands. One of the many thoughts behind this is why just have one man or one woman when you can have multiple?
We shouldn’t be surprised by this and should more than likely expect the laws of the land to legalize plural marriage across the nation not too long from now. Reason being that as we legalize same-sex marriage in the name of not discriminating others and allowing them to have spousal benefits, where can you draw the line? It opens the doors for many types of “marriages” and this is something I believe we will start seeing very soon.
Real Marriage
To define real marriage, we must turn to the Bible. The Bible is 100% truth. Yes, men wrote down the words but the Holy Spirit led them the entire way making it absolutely perfect (2 Timothy 3:16-17, 1 Peter 1:21). It has never been proven wrong and it never will be. So in the midst of a culture where the definition of marriage is all over the place, we must turn to scripture. Let’s let the Bible do the talking.
To define real marriage, we must turn to the Bible, which is 100% truth.
The first marriage in human history came from Adam and Eve. God made it clear in the beginning when there were only two people, one male and one female, that man would leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife (Genesis 2:22-24). From the very beginning, God created us male and female and made mention that as we become married as male and female, man can not separate it (Mark 10:6-9).
Marriage is between a man and a woman, only. Even in regards to temptation the Bible speaks about how each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband (1 Corinthians 7:2). There is no such thing as a same-sex, plural, or any other type of marriage in the Bible except for one that is only between one man and one woman.
Loving Others Instead Of Condemning Them
It’s important to note even though we find ourselves in a culture that doesn’t value the things of God or respect the way He has created and designed things (marriage, value of life, our world, our bodies, etc.), that doesn’t give us the right to not love others.
Christians who believe what the Bible says about marriage can often slip into condemning others when sin is present and people are engaging in marriage that isn’t Biblical. As followers of Christ, we must remember that we love others because He first loved us (1 John 4:19) and that every life has value in the sight of God.
Since we are forgiven through the finished work of Jesus, how could we not love others including those who practice same-sex marriage or plural marriage? There will be all sorts of marriages down the road and the way we love people and build relationships with them shouldn’t be any different. We shouldn’t be shocked that we live in a culture that practices intolerance as the new tolerance.
On top of that, if people aren’t following Christ or believing in anything the Bible says, why would we expect them to treat marriage the way God tells us to? If they wouldn’t agree God is the creator of life, then surely they wouldn’t agree that God is the creator of marriage.
Yes, marriage is only between one man and one woman, period. That’s what the Bible says and the Bible is the authority. That’s what God says and He is the creator and designer of marriage so I think He knows what’s best and how it all works. That’s the only way marriage and families work and we’ll continue to see that play out as real marriages will produce real families and other marriages will produce major consequences within families.
This is the time for the Church to be bold and speak up about what real marriage is in a day where the definition can be confusing to so many. These are the moments all of us as believers need to love and minister to those who don’t have an accurate understanding of marriage. Before we write someone off with their sin, let’s remember just how sinful we still are and how much all of us need Jesus.
Here are other Frequently Asked Questions and how the Bible answers them.
Questions: How would you define marriage? Do you think it’s only between one man & one woman? Please comment below and join the conversation.
Yes, Marriage and the sexual bond in it WAS created by God in Christ and is meant only for this for love and produce a family for future generations. Unfortunately the LGTBQ agenda with Same Sex Marriage is to replace marriage between a man and a woman for two men and two women. In addition they state that marriage is NO longer a divine institution but a legal institution set up by humanistic government. In the long term same sex marriage will replace natural marriage and say it is unnatural forsaking the normal affections created by God for pornographic hot… Read more »
Appreciate you reading and sharing Paul. I think at the end of the day we can’t be surprised that the world would live in a way that is opposite of Jesus. Heck, I’m a follower of Jesus and still make sinful decisions everyday. So in the same with marriage, there will always be other opinions on what marriage should be about and we are called to walk with and love others well, even when their opinions are different from ours, ESPECIALLY when their opinions are different than ours. We all need Jesus every single day, there’s still so many that… Read more »
to refer to Adam and Eve in Genesis as the source for marriage being only between a man and a woman is misleading. It ignores the thousands of years that God condoned marriage as between a man and women..The actual concept of marriage being between one man and one woman is derived from Greek pagan practices not Judaic law or practices..
Thanks GBS for reading and for sharing. I’m not sure what you mean how Adam and Eve ignore God accepting and approving marriage between a man and a woman like you wrote. The creation of marriage happened in the creation of man and woman in the beginning out of Genesis according to the Bible. That would precede any type of practices of humans since they were the first 2 humans. Appreciate you sharing!
Hi Mike, I’m a new christian and I’ve been reading about this topic lately. My question is specifically, when the bible says that marriage is between a man and a woman, it doesn’t really say that it is “only” between them. That word isn’t used in the bible. Don’t you think it’s a stretch to jump from “marriage is between a man and a woman” to “marriage is only between a man and a woman”? I mean it’s not the same thing. I think you could categorize commandments in the Bible into three categories You shall do “X” (is silent… Read more »
Hey Dominik! Thanks so much for reading and for sharing. You can see out of Genesis and even in other areas referenced in the post that the references to marriage are in fact between a man…and a woman. As in, that is what defines a Biblical marriage. The rest of the points are in the post but I’d caution you, especially as you said you’re a new believer, that even when the Bible doesn’t always give you black and white verses on every topic, to first take the whole Bible into context to see what it teaches but going through… Read more »
Hi Mike, Thanks for the answer. As a new christian, I have not read the bible yet, though I am planning on doing so. I think I would understand better what the bible means by biblical marriage if I read the parts talking about marriage in their context. What I’m still a bit confused about (and correct me if I’m wrong), it’s that it seems to me that the whole topic of marriage between men and women and between same-sex partners is not clearly defined as in “A marriage is only between a man and a woman”. That would be… Read more »
Hey Dominik, I appreciate your sincere questions and searching for truth in the Bible. One of the best things I can tell you that someone told me when I was a new believer was to actually get in the Bible and read it. From cover to cover. I know you said that too but a few things that stood out to me in your question were: -marriage not being clearly defined – There are many areas of scripture that clearly define that including going all the way back to Genesis to see how Adam and Eve were created and what… Read more »
I have question. If god made marriage between man and woman, why do people have same sex attractions? Also, is it a sin to be gay or in a gay relationship?
Hey Robert, thanks for reading and appreciate the question. It’s really a great question. I’m not going to be able to tell where you’re coming from since it’s a blog comment, but I’ll do my best in trying to communicate well. The Bible says many things about how God designed this life to be and how we as humans are to live. The question of “why then do we desire _______ (fill in the blank there with many things)” is a great question. There are tons of things we desire in this life that don’t line up with the way… Read more »
I have a question two people who have lost there spouses through sickness and fall in love. Is it considered a sin to move in together and have a relationship without marriage ?
Hey Steve, this is a great question. This is written about in detail over at https://beforethecross.com/biblical-teachings/whats-wrong-with-living-together-before-marriage/ and would love for you to check it out! Thanks for reading and for sharing.
Thanks for responding.
Of course, anytime!
Yes I believe that marriage is only between a man and a woman
Thanks for reading and for sharing Dolores!
I’m not agreeing or disagreeing with you about marriage, but there is something in Christian text, and probably all religious texts, that bothers me. If I write a book, and in that book I write something that says that everything in this book is true, that doesn’t make it true. So, including a verse that says all of the other verses are inspired by the Hand of God, that verse I wrote was still written by me, and has no more weight than anything else I wrote. You can have Faith and Believe it was inspired by God, but just… Read more »
Hey Bart, thank you for reading and for sharing. I would agree with you when it comes to a typical book made by man, but there is where we’ll probably have a disagreement in the fact I believe the Bible is 100% perfect, accurate, and is the very word of God. And yes I believe the Holy Spirit led those who wrote things down to write down those things, but I don’t think it’s inaccurate because they did. I believe the Bible is 100% true because of it’s own claims just like I believe Jesus lived a perfect life, died… Read more »
I find it hard to believe a man fashioned the Bible from his own mind. The Bible has 66 books in it. It was pinned by different men in different times over several thousand years. Yet, somehow it has no contradictions in it. This is vastly different than the Quran or the Book of Mormon for instance.
It seems to me the evidence for the infallibility of the Bible is pretty strong in comparison to any other religious text out there. That’s my 2 cents on the issue.
Also, this was an inspiring article. Thank you for the read.
Thanks so much for sharing Rob and for reading!
So why are so many people in your churches on their second or third wives? Because that’s what Jesus is actually condemning in Matthew 19:4–6 and Mark 10:6–9.
Hey Lawrence, I appreciate you reading here on BTC. I would ask for you to be respectful for us to have any form of a dialogue on here. Of course understanding, a “dialogue” on blog comments can only go so far. I can’t speak to the accusation you’re making outside of the fact that you seem like you’re hurt by something that has happened or that you have witnessed. Jesus is teaching in those passages about divorce and what God’s original design is for marriage (I wrote about that here as well – https://beforethecross.com/biblical-teachings/marriage-is-between-a-man-and-a-woman/) There doesn’t seem to really be… Read more »
Jesus plainly stated what was adultery, and marriage with someone who’s spouse is still living is such. In the same passages of the OT where homosexuality is said to be condemned, The penalty for adultery is specified. If one is to be enforced then the other needs to be also..Otherwise, you are rewriting the bible which you are forbidden to do up on the penalty of death.
Hey GBS, thanks for reading and for sharing. This is a long comment here so forgive me for the length, but these are some excellent notes about Divorce and Remarriage if you wanted to check these out. Thanks so much! God’s Original Plan God’s original plan for the human race, as indicated in his creation of Adam and Eve as husband and wife, is lifelong, monogamous marriage. Jesus affirmed this in responding to a question about divorce: And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered,… Read more »
The bible is 100% right, and i base my life up on it’s preceipts. Marriage is between one man and one woman as stated in Genesis 1:28 “Be fruitful, and fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth.” This is nature, All others sexual acts are not godly; but those who commit them we must show love to them and yet be truthful to them when opportunities present it self.
Thanks for reading and for sharing Ernest. Agreed that it’s so important not only to uphold the Bible which is 100% truth, but at the same time continue to love others well then they have different viewpoints and disagree. That’s where a lot of us fall short but we too had different viewpoints and disagreed before we were believers as well. Everyone has a seat at the table.
Yes I do believe that God put man and woman together. other wise how can 2 men or 2 women make babies? they can’t so they adopt and the child see that this is the way of life and see no sin in it. This world is so mest up the eyes are blinded by sin . There’s no way to fix it. All we can do is to pray for those people. The world , the waters, will love its own, and we as christ like have no place with the world. This is why we need to continue… Read more »
Thanks for reading and for sharing Darlene!
Thank you for the amazing explanation. God has a great plan for you.
Thanks so much for reading and for sharing!
I’m somewhat confused. because if we read the bible it says in Genesis God created them Male & Female. Which is where Religious Institutions based their view about Marriage. Here’s the question: How about those who are born as Intersex? Where are they written in Genesis? if God only created Male & Female? Now they say Genesis was just a generalization, there were many other species etc. that were created and were not mentioned. And they say Intersex is stated in the New Testament where the Ethiopian Eunuch gets baptized. So which one should we follow? When they say marriage… Read more »
Hey Peter, Thanks for sharing. The role of male and female in the Bible is not just for marriage (although it includes marriage) but more importantly are the two roles of humans that God created in His image. These roles of male and female have their own characteristics themselves and even within marriage the man’s role is Christ, and the woman’s role is the church. Yes there’s intersex. While the Bible doesn’t have a specific verse on intersex for us in 2018, that doesn’t mean we can’t get answers from the Bible still. This is the case with thousands of… Read more »
You people keep talking about same sex marriage! Most people who keep talking about have a problem themselves. Most ministers who condemn gays are gay themselves. Look at the news! We all have come short to the glory of God and none of us follow the Bible 100%. Should we still have slavery? Should women continue to bow down the their husbands, should children be beaten when they don’t listen? Do you give everything you have to the poor? Common be real. Don’t judge!!!
Hey Richard, thank you for reading and for your opinion. I sure hope you have read the whole post and other posts here on Before The Cross because I believe if you did, you would see a few things: -Same sex marriage isn’t the main point of this post or any sexuality posts on BTC, it’s more about how does the Bible define sexuality, and therefore also marriage, and what are best ways we can walk with people in the process and point them to Jesus. -You’re absolutely right we have all fallen short, so therefore we should all walk… Read more »
Thank you for the response Mike! I do enjoy your reading your articles especially on being humble! God bless you in all you do!
Thanks so much Richard!! Really appreciate that!
Same sex marriage should be concidered a crime. It’s completely disgusting and should not be practiced by ANY church.
Thanks for sharing Mayank, we want to be respectful of others with the way we comment and have conversations about this. Especially as followers of Jesus we should be led with grace and humility, even along as we share truth.
I’d encourage you to consider praying for others, considering the positions they are in and the desires they have, and how best to love them and share the Word of God with them and the love Christ has for them. In the way you speak and comment remember if you’re a follower of Jesus, you represent Him.
yes the world needs to see Christ in us.
Mike, Thank you for being respectful and demonstrating how to be respectful. Have a blessed day.
I think the same way as you do. Its a sickness in the mind. It should be done away with. but as we read the world of God wrong is right and right is wrong.
we do live in a messed up world. We need to stay in the truth (the Bible) then
we will know what side we are on. Remember the world hate’s us as they hate Christ. we hate the sin but not the sinner. God Bless
Darlene, “it should be done away with”. What exactly does that mean? How can you conclude it is a sickness? I believe you misunderstand freedom of speech for ignorance because those very comments display your ignorance about a homosexual relationship. God loves all, not only heterosexuals. You can not pick and choose what is right or wrong based on the Bible, that is not how it works. So unless you live a life of perfection and free of sin (which Jesus did not), then maybe re-evaluate how you can make this world a better place by being a decent human… Read more »
Thank you for this because believe it or not MANY gay ppl go online searching for understanding. Even to sites like this and when they read comments like that it shows them that Jesus is not the same Jesus ppl come to know. They run the other way. SO unless you walked in their shoes, do not assume all gays are to be “done” away with. I have met MANY gay people who are more on fire than any other heterosexual christian. DON’T GET IT TWISTED. Many gays understand the bible and understand what it says. We forget God is… Read more »
Mayank, church is about praising God and learning how to be good individual in this world, not hate. God does not teach hate. Please re-evaluate your hateful words and learn how to be a better Christian by not judging others.
Good post. Love wins.
Thanks so much for sharing Alan!
2 species was created only when one is with the other can we multiply no other way that union is special for all the right reasons it’s obvious what’s defined true marriage
Thanks for reading and for sharing Damien.
Where in the bible to Jesu actually condemn same sex marriage?I have read where others did, Paul for example, but never Jesus.
Hey Keith, thanks for the question.
Jesus addresses and defines marriage in Matthew 19:4–6 and Mark 10:6–9 using both Genesis 1:26–27 and Genesis 2:24. Here Jesus defines and affirms marriage as between a man and a woman. With this definition, same-sex marriage is excluded. Jesus never discussed same-sex marriage because the way he defined marriage already excluded it.
I think you forgot to read the bible. There absolutely IS polygamous marriage in the bible. All over the place.
I don’t think your god appreciates your lies. Especially since you’re lying about “his” scripture.
Appreciate you sharing your opinion Allie. I’m sure you can tell from the post but we would disagree and we believe from what the Bible teaches on, that marriages is between one man and one woman. Thanks again for sharing.
How do you handle this if you’re a lesbian who a) has not EVER acted on it at all and never plans to and b) is REALLY grossed out at the idea of doing anything with a male when your parents/friends/church is constantly pressuring you to date? In high school, I got away with not dating because I wasn’t allowed to but I was bummed out that I couldn’t hae male friends. (Trust me, I saw them as brothers, I always dressed appropriately, and the males in my school (if they ever talked about sex and women) never talked about… Read more »
Thanks Cassie for sharing your thoughts and questions, appreciate you being vulnerable in this. There’s no quick answer to your questions and it’s a tough situation you’re in..especially with the Church acting the way it is (in your writing) and with people outside of the Church acting the way they are. Instead of me answering you in a way that puts the focus on those other things, let’s talk about you specifically since that’s the best route to take. I would start with this. Who is Jesus to you? Are you following Christ? Meaning, in everything you do, are you… Read more »
i’m sorry but just my opinion. for me, it seems you’re asexual based on what i read?
Hey Peter, I answered your question on the other thread if you wanted to check it out. Thanks man!
How do you deal with the fact of People like Solomon having multiple wives?
Just because Solomon had many wives, doesn’t mean God approved of his behavior. In fact, in Deuteronomy 17:16-17, God talked about not doing that.
It’s the same with many examples in Scripture where sinful men acted in sinful ways…that doesn’t mean just because it’s in the Bible..that God approves it. We should take this opportunity to examine Scripture as a whole to get the context and really understand what God is telling us.
Great question, appreciate the comment!