This post and topic has been featured over at WORLD Magazine and you can view the post by clicking here. The Pilgrim Radio Network also conducted a Radio Interview about this topic as well.
This is a pretty popular question that comes up with believers and non-believers. I asked the same question myself years ago and luckily was pointed to the Bible for answers. Sometimes it’s difficult to answer something like this and I think it takes a little more discussion than just answering this one question. In my experience, it typically involves a similar question that goes something like “How far is too far?” or “When does sin actually become sin?”
In any case, let’s look and see what Scripture says about this. Let’s see how God defines marriage and why it would be wrong to live together before getting married.
The Bible describes marriage as a committed relationship between one man and one woman that is sanctioned and blessed by God (Genesis 2:22-24). Furthermore, God instituted marriage to be between two people, a male and a female. Jesus added that it is to be permanent (Mark 10:7-9 – ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate).
The divine institution of marriage suggests a covenant among the man, the woman, and God. The marital relationship is more important than any other relationship except one’s relationship with God. It is modeled after God’s relationship with His people, the Church. Jesus is the bride-groom, and the Church is His bride. The unique, committed setting of marriage is also the place God designed for the expression of sex. In 1 Corinthians 6:15-18 (Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body), Paul discusses the sinfulness of all sexual relations outside of marriage. In addition to outward sinfulness, sexual sin is a sin against one’s own body. This makes sexual sin uniquely destructive, a clear reason to follow God’s plan for sex.
When it comes to living together before marriage, you may think you are fine just because you are “living together” and nothing more, but I would suggest that you are not. In the midst of living together, you are also opening the door to even more temptation between you two, and hurting any testimony you may have of following Christ as you proclaim that it is a God glorifying thing to live together before marriage. You are also in danger of leading others down a similar path towards sin because of your example (Romans 14:13-22).
Living together before marriage doesn’t reflect the commitment that God instituted and ordained. The good news is that it is never too late to make a change. God forgives sin. That’s what He’s all about. He wants to have a relationship with us, and no situation or sin is too great for Him to forgive. If we want His forgiveness, we must stop committing the sinful act (1 John 3:6 – No one who abides in Him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen Him or known Him) and ask God for forgiveness. He will be faithful to forgive us (1 John 1:9 – If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness).
Living together before marriage doesn’t reflect the commitment that God instituted and ordained.
A quick personal note – I’ve made the mistake in my past, years ago, of moving in with my girlfriend and justifying it because we got a 2 bedroom place, and it saved us money because of bills including rent. Let me just say that there are plenty of excuses out there to justify our actions (money, two bedrooms, we are going to get married anyway, we should live together first to see if we are compatible, or I won’t really know him/her until we live together). I’ll be the first to tell you from personal experience, these excuses do not justify the actions.
Let me encourage you if you find yourself in this situation, there are plenty of ways to change and repent from it. There are plenty of people around you (including the Church) who can help you move out and wait patiently until you are married.
It’s also possible that it might be time to just get married. You might even want to consider going ahead and getting married in the courthouse (which is legal and still in the sight of God) if you didn’t want to wait for a larger ceremony, which you could always do down the road. The point here is to take sin as seriously as possible and make decisions starting today to remove yourself from sin or from being tempted to, and to follow Christ because He is so much better.
Let me also encourage you if you had this situation in the past, that you are forgiven in Jesus Christ. The finished work on the Cross paid the penalty for your past, present, and future sins and God no longer sees you, but rather sees His Son & what He did for you on the Cross.
Questions: So what do you think? Do you see anything wrong with this? What do you see from Scripture? You can leave a comment by clicking below.
Here are other Frequently Asked Questions and how the Bible answers them.
This post and topic has been featured over at WORLD Magazine and you can view the post by clicking here. The Pilgrim Radio Network also conducted a Radio Interview about this topic as well.
Recently my son and his girlfriend started talking about marriage and or moving in together. I said, “let’s look at the scriptures. I know that Jesus talked to a woman at a well who was living with someone she wasn’t married to.” Certain that I would be vindicated in convincing them that living together was wrong, I shrank inside as I noticed that Jesus did not reprimand the Samaritan woman at the well for being divorced 5 times and living with a man she was not married to. I’m curious. Why do you think that is?
Hey Stephanie, Thanks for reading and for sharing. These conversations are so important and I know they are challenging. I’ve been there personally, on both sides, I get it. There’s not a single verse that says “thou shall not live together before marriage” but that is the same case for many situations that are unGodly because the Bible just doesn’t have black and white scriptures for ALL scenarios out there. When that happens, we have to read more scripture and get the context of it. For this topic, read through the post on various reasons why it is unGodly to… Read more »
I would say the “Why not get married now?” should be because he’s 19 years old, still trying to finish his education, living at home, and has no money. But because of the guilt and wanting to continue to have sex, that is what he did. He kept it a secret and got married over the weekend. Now, I have his wife and him living in a large closet in my home. He’s the oldest of 5 kids and I’m a single mother, now raising his wife too. She and her brother were homeschooled, but have no GED or diploma.… Read more »
Hey Stephanie,
Sorry to hear that and I imagine there are many struggles there. The good news is now that he is married there’s opportunities for them to grow together as husband and wife and get started off on the right food. No doubt you have an opportunity to love and serve them well because Jesus has done that for you.
Praying for those opportunities to take place and for them to learn how to be a Godly husband and wife while they grow together and learn from you on how to take Biblical steps as they follow Jesus.
Hopefully this doesn’t come across as judgmental–really, I’m more saddened and shocked at the situations in these comments…like when I see that a person has a child with someone else, and the other person says “they’re not ready for marriage.” Why would you have a child with someone if you aren’t ready for marriage?!?! That has to be so insulting to the other party, it’s like they don’t want to claim/commit to the other person. Obedience to God is so important makes life easier. I come from a very broken home, dad abusive towards mom, mom is narcissistic, bitter, very… Read more »
Hey Deanna, Thanks so much for reading and for sharing. I hear what you’re saying but we also have to extend grace to one another because we have all made mistakes. And it’s easier to look back sometimes with clarity but we can miss things while going through it. Yes, we actually find more freedom and satisfaction through our obedience as we follow Jesus, but we also have to understand we have a real enemy who wants us to have nothing to do with Jesus. And that enemy is relentless towards us so unless we are relentless towards the love… Read more »
I like how it is explained about Jesus is the bridegroom and the church is the bride. What I understood….Christ is the head of the church and it’s covering and protection. Marriage is also a covering. Under marriage we have Jesus in the centre…..our covering…our children. God loves everyone …believers and non believers but we know it’s not right so why choose to walk into temptation when you can just patiently wait. Sin don’t just happen…..it grows when we start feeding into it. If you choose to feed into it that we don’t abide into him….our flesh is weak. You… Read more »
Hey Anne,
Thanks so much for reading and for sharing. Appreciate your thoughts on this topic and my encouragement to you would be to continue to read and compare everything to the Bible. Whether it’s me or the next person, always fact check everyone to what scripture actually says. I think you would find some great encouragement in that for this topic and others as you look around.
Thanks again for sharing!
Hello Mike, I agree ???? with your post. My oldest stepson has been living together with his girlfriend for the past 10 years. They have a beautiful daughter, my granddaughter and I praise the Lord for her. However, I have tried to stress to him several times past about the importance of stepping up and getting married, for the same reasons you point out in your post. When I recently asked him, he said that marriage is in the talks. What baffles me is that when all of my adult children were children, I tried to be a good example… Read more »
Hey Steve, Thanks so much for reading and for sharing! I don’t want to diminish how hard this is and the pain that comes with it at times being the person living with the girlfriend, but also now being able to speak as a fellow parent myself. Here’s where I hope this can encourage you…. The Lord really worked on me personally through me making decisions that would at times lead me away from Him. It was in my selfish pursuits that I really grew even more into a relationship with Him. Of course we don’t WANT others to have… Read more »
Hey Mike that was very insightful and encouraging. Thanks very much ????
Of course. Anytime!!
Your letter touched me. May your continued prayers be answered soon. Holland
Thanks Holland for reading and for sharing!
Whats the bible say about kidnapping people from their land, enslaving them and destroying their nuclear family? What does it say about owning people as property? What does it say about hanging people?
Hey James thanks for reading and for reaching out. There are tons of stories Biblically that we can look at now and be like “what?!?! they did that?!?!” and countless examples of what NOT to do. I’m thankful for the many examples of sin because it tells me today what is Godly and what is not. Just like the things you mentioned above. Praise God that He has shown us a better way to live. A way to treat people with dignity and love and respect. A way to serve others even when they are our enemies. Praise God for… Read more »
How do you see that a married man got his girlfriend pregnant and he divorced his wife later. Now his girlfriend and he live together with her child. They do not get married yet. Can the church take this couple in? Jesus did not condemn the Samaritan woman who had five husbands and living with her boyfriend/unmarried. When Pharisees and religious leaders caught a women in the act of adulatory and brought before Jesus to condemn her and put to death by stoning . Jesus forgave her and said sin no more. These are a few excuses to commit adulatory.… Read more »
Hey Daniel, Thanks so much for reading and for reaching out. So I can’t speak to this specific situation because I’m not involved directly, but I would say that no one is out of reach of the Gospel or being a part of the local church. Jesus is the reason we can do anything and He forgives all sinners including you and me. Now of course as we follow Jesus we strive for obedience and if anyone is sinning, and especially repeatedly, that’s a big deal to call out and to help that person turn away from those sins. If… Read more »
Ive been reading your answers to peoples posts. I feel like your guided by the Word of God in your answers. Please continue to do a great job in the Lord.
Thank you very much Holland, I really appreciate that and hope all of this is helping everyone!
Hi Mike, Im a new believer now and the person that brought me back to the church and to Jesus is my boyfriend. I thanked him all the time for bringing me to our church and learning more about Christian life. But we are not perfect, we are all sinners and the God I know is a forgiving God. Let me tell you our situation and enlighten me here: I came in the US as a visitor, I am legal here and have not overstayed, we almost got married so he can help me to stay here and because he… Read more »
Hey Ohwiee, thanks so much for reading and for sharing! I’m sorry for the frustrations you find yourself in and I get everyone’ situation is different and hard to navigate. That being said, let me just help provide some clarity and I hope that helps you in your decision making. The fact is you’re already living with him. You mentioned you will come to God as you are he won’t judge you and sees your heart. God will judge all of us but the good news if you’re a follower of Jesus is that your sins are paid for by… Read more »
Hi Mike, After the passing of my grandmother, I really had to step back and take a look at my life. She was such a God fearing woman and I want to follow God the way that she did. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. I’ve been saving myself ever since I was a little girl. Although I’ve put myself in situations where things could happen, I’ve remained a virgin. My bf knew that I was not going to have sex before marriage & he seem respectful of it. However, I knew that before my… Read more »
Hey Jaeleah, Thanks so much for reaching out. Sorry to hear about your grandmother, but also encouraged on how she was such a great example to you. So I’ll respond as best as I can via a blog post comment and at the same time I’d strongly encourage you to get with your local church and talk with some pastors and brothers and sisters in Christ there about this as well. They’ll know the situation more directly than I would and we are meant to life this life within the context of community and not by yourselves. That being said,… Read more »
Thank you so much Mike. This gives me a lot of clarity on my situation. I really appreciate you taking the time out to respond. This helps SO much! You broke it down so well. I hope you have a good day.
Jaeleah
Awesome Jaeleah! Really glad it helped and have a great day as well!
I have known my boyfriend for 14-15 years. We both took seperate routes early in our friendship, he got married and had a son then a few years later divorced. I had also been in a relationship had my daughter and seperated feom her dad due to him having major issues. I have never been married. I would say about a year maybe a little longer after we both got out of those relationships we decided to start dating. After almost a year of dating he moved in with me. We’ve always been really good friends. He’s my best friend.… Read more »
Hey Sam, Thanks so much for reading and for sharing. I’m sorry for the troubles that there’s been relationally in the past. As you can probably tell from the post I would counsel you to either get married or not live together until you do, and here’s why and how you can be encouraged by it. You can see the reasons Biblically why it wouldn’t be a wise move to continue living together if you’re not married, but there’s also a great opportunity here. The best thing for your kids to see would be their parents putting God and His… Read more »
Thank you Mike.
Of course, anytime!
This is my problem. My boyfriend of 30 years and myself has turned our life around and decided to follow Jesus. We have lived together most of this time. He has cut off sex but Every time I try to talk to him about marriage he shuts me down. He thinks we’re common law and that’s enough, but if that was the case why cut out sex. How can I make him see.
Hey Amy, Thank you for reading and for sharing. For one, congratulations that you both have decided to follow Jesus! That is amazing! How involved are you both in your local church? I’m assuming since you said you are a follower of Christ, that means you’re both involved in the local church since we know from the Bible that’s not an optional thing, but rather a command and a huge need of us to be in Biblical community and utilizing our gifts for the Kingdom. If he professes to follow Christ, then he would profess to believe in the Bible.… Read more »
I am a man of faith, i believe everything th Word says, and nothing that it doesn’t. I’ve often wondered where or how the bible outlines co-habitation as wrong so long as no fornication is taking place. Scripturally, can you outline for me where the bible either CLEARLY defines living with someone of the opposite sex before marriage and without sex is either out-right wrong, or is in and of its self a form of fornication?
Hey there, thank you for reading and for sharing. I think if you read through the article and even look at the other conversations on here, you’ll see that has been addressed multiple times. At the end of the day it’s not only about something sexual happening or not, but there’s a lot more at stake. And the Bible does not have black and white scripture for every single situation (we’d never be able to contain all of that in a book) so when that happens you have to back up and take context of how the follower of Jesus… Read more »
Thanks for the article, it was very helpful.
Absolutely thank you so much for the encouragement and for reading!
Hello I have been seeking answers to this situation. Through prayer, guidance, and readings; I still do not have my answer. So I will try to explain and seek what guidance I can get. I currently live in a complete different state then my girlfriend. We have been doing distance for over 8 months. I used to live in same state as her but was transferred for work. At the time we were not dating (when I was in same state) but she has been my best friend for years now. After living out of state for over a year,… Read more »
Hey Jay, Thanks so much for sharing all of this and being vulnerable. Praise God for you recently becoming a follower of Jesus, that is truly incredible and let’s not lose sight in the midst of your question just how great God has been to rescue you and it sounds like for Him saving your girlfriend and her family as well. Really awesome! There’s a million different ways to go about talking about this so I’ll get straight to the main points as a follower of Jesus. If you follow Jesus, you first and foremost follow Him. That means you… Read more »
Hi. I’ve looked, searched, and inquired about something sorta like this. I totally understand the stand point and the Bible’s standard on living unmarried. Here’s MY situation. I was married, my spouse divorced me, we reconciled 5 years later as platonic parents and no sex or type of intimacy between the both of us. We work well with one another, respect one another, and are co-parent well together. We moved in together with our boys and in no way do we step over any sexual immorality in boundaries. We both are Christians (she a recent new child and sister in… Read more »
Hey Alex, Thank you for sharing and sorry for the tough situation you find yourself in. I’d first want to know in your situation why you and your ex-wife haven’t remarried? Why would you not want to remarry not only for your marriage itself and living together, but to set an example to your boys? Getting married would show your commitment to each other and to your boys, and would put yourself in a living together situation as a married couple that would help glorify God in your marriage and family. The problem of living together is not only about… Read more »
Hey Mike, thanks for this article I really appreciate it…. I’m finding myself in a really hard situation. I’ve recently come to Jesus while already living with my girlfriend of over 3 years. We’ve moved our lives from her hometown to a different area of the country, have started towards building a life together with plans etc. I’ve told her I can no longer have sex and she took it horribly but has since turned around and accepted it. I know she has a hardened heart towards God (sees no issues with sin, justifies it through religious and cultural lies),… Read more »
Hey Shane, thanks so much for reading and for sharing. I’ve been in a similar situation so I know this is really tough and especially mixed in with emotions and desires, it feels impossible at times. So first, that’s great you have started following Jesus! Really, amazing! One thing you are experiencing now is that as we begin to follow Jesus, we quickly realize we can’t keep on living the same way as we did before because there are lifestyle changes to be made. Give yourself some grace in the process because a lot of this is new to you… Read more »
Thanks for responding, Mike… I really appreciate it. I apologize if this similar message shows on your end twice as I have already typed out a response and for some reason it is not showing up on my end. So here goes again… I understand what you are saying and I agree fully. I just need to hear my brothers and sisters confirm and give me assurance in this decision and know that it will be fine. My situation is a little more complicated as well as there is some history behind it all that I am coming to grasp… Read more »
Thanks for sharing man. Everyone has got a story and a situation they are dealing with and really appreciate you being vulnerable and sharing all of that. I’d make sure you become part of a local church and get other believers around you to help you through this season of making hard, yet wise decisions in how you move forward. With everything that has happened in your past, it’s very evident God is doing something for sure in your life and the peace you are experiencing I believe is from Him too. Get with others to help, pray, read the… Read more »
Question: What if I move in with 3 other people, one of which being my girlfriend? She lives in a bad situation and I want her to be out of it, so I want her to have a place to go.
Two other friends of mine are willing to move in with us and keep us accountable. If there’s ever any nights where it looks like my girlfriend and I will be alone there, I will check out for the night and leave the premisis.
So, is it still sin if we’re living in the same house, however, not alone?
Hey George, Thanks for reading and sharing. The Bible is not going to address every specific situation that could happen out there so anytime there’s a question along the lines of “is it still sin if…..” you want to take a step back and reflect on the larger principles of scripture. For example, it’s not a matter of how many other roommates might be in the house, it’s a matter of asking what glorifies God the most in a situation vs other situations. As you can probably tell from the post, I’d suggest not living together no matter what before… Read more »
Repentence and living according to the will and purpose ordained by God….Absolutely Encouraged
Thanks so much Richard for reading and for sharing!!
Churches argue what is wrong or right with sex since the dawn of the churches and there is no certainty to this matter because we can’t Define the meanings of what all the different terms for what type of action happened , i e- adultery, prostitution, premarital, excetera excetera as compared to how they were meant when spoken. This is all human opinion and not God’s will and to be honest just the fact that one Church thinks it’s way is better than another churches even though it all comes from the same book describes the real corruption Within Church… Read more »
Hey Jack, Thanks for sharing. While I agree there are some opinions in terms of what you shared, there’s also answers in the Bible as well for other things you’re talking about. The Bible teaches any type of sex whatsoever is sin when it is not within the confines of a Biblical marriage, meaning 1 man and 1 woman. (1 Corinthians 7:2) I agree with you sometimes churches fight and believe they are better, but you’re right, there’s only one church to which Jesus is the head of the church and He is in charge. Meaning also the Bible is… Read more »
Thank you Mike for your article. The question and answer section was also enlightening. I see the bottom line as “are my actions glorifying God, or justifying or satisfying self”. The word is one way, or the other, grey areas are the other too.
Thanks so much for sharing and for reading. And yes, great point. The bottom line in a lot of these posts and the Christian walk is what you said above. It comes down to those motivations at a heart level at the end of the day.
Understanding that sex before marriage is a sin, many true pastors advise couples to confess of their sins and live separately until marriage. How long should they live apart until they marry? Thanks!
Hey there, well first I’d say that this issue is not only related to a sex issue, although that is a main concern…it’s not limited to just that. But in terms of your question, there isn’t a designated time frame for how long someone should live apart until marriage. The ideal is you would just get married and then can freely live together.
Why do we as Christians push the boundaries God has created for us. It’s like how much can I get away with. What about our testimony. I’m living w girlfriend or boyfriend but I’m not having sex. Really? You’re setting urself up to fall into sexual temptation. To everyone else You Are having sex. It’s “the appearance of evil” but yet you call yourself a believer. Our heartcry/prayer should be “If it causes me and others to stumble in the faith, I don’t want it. If my right hand causes me to stumble cut it off, get rid of it.… Read more »
Hey Connie,
I think we all have to remember even for those who are Christians that we are still sinful and will still make bad choices. Whether that is living with someone or any other type of sin. Agreed with a lot of what you said and I think this ultimately comes down to Christians asking “what would glorify God most in this situation” vs “what do I want to do in this situation.” By asking that question before we do anything, we would probably avoid a lot of sin in our lives.
Thanks for sharing!
My Fiance and I are in the midst of this discussion. We are getting Married in 12 Days, and he had just moved into our new apartment. I’m finding it very hard to wait the 12 days simply because life in our house is so much easier on my mental well being than it is at home. I know that God will provide me strength even though I can’t see how. It’s hard knowing I’m going to have to leave him each night because I want nothing more than to be a wife to him but that is something that… Read more »
Savannah, thank you so much for sharing this and I love what you have to say! I’ve been there myself and sometimes things like this are confusing and appear “grey,” but that’s because we are wanting God and the Bible to specifically lay out every single situation and give us the black and white answer which obviously it just can’t do. That book would be so large it would basically be impossible. But rather, when we come to this moment, we must take everything including all of scripture into context and decision making for the follower of Christ ultimately comes… Read more »
What verse says it is wrong to live with someone before marriage? I understand what is said about it being extra temptation, but I want to see what exact verse or set of verses says in any way shape or form that living with someone before marriage is wrong. Not having a sexual relationship, just living with said person.
Hey Isaac, Appreciate you sharing and asking. It’s important here to realize there is not a specific black and white verse for every sin that is possible out there in the world. Not only is sin something that goes against God and things that do not glorify Him, there are also sins of omission (when we know we should do something but we don’t). If the Bible accounted for every single individual sin, they all wouldn’t fit in the Bible. Similar to how everything Jesus did while here on earth couldn’t fit in the Bible either because there were too… Read more »
But once again this form of “sin” was taught as an opinion and a culture. Not an actual reference to glorifying God, it is an opinion. Not a fact or proven to be true.
This is where we will disagree Isaac and I appreciate you sharing. Choosing to glorify God in all of our circumstances as followers of Jesus is obedience, and choosing not to do that is sin which will show itself in a multitude of ways. Thanks again for sharing and for reading.
You didn’t answer my question though? You didn’t say it wasn’t an opinion by the people of today. That’s what I’m asking you. It is only an opinion. I’m not talking about any sort of sexual relations. Living with someone before marriage is seen as wrong only through an opinion, no verse, or book, or chapter says otherwise. As you clearly stated before, there are no verses.
Hey Isaac, sorry you must have not seen my comment response to you earlier. I’ll copy and paste it here so you can see the answer to your question. At this point, I’d say let’s not flood the comment thread just saying the same things we are saying back and forth over and over again. If you want to actually talk about this more, feel free to shoot me an email or contact me through the website. Thanks again for sharing. “Hey Isaac, Appreciate you sharing and asking. It’s important here to realize there is not a specific black and… Read more »
What verse says you should?
I do realize there are more points to the article than just sexual sin. I think before the dialogue could continue it needed to first be established that simply living together does not equate sinning. If we can’t first come to an understanding on that, then how could we even discuss your other points. To simply make the claim- that living with your girlfriend/boyfriend before marriage is sinful, regardless of any possible set of circumstances for any human being on this earth; well that would be a pretty unreasonable and ridiculous statement for someone to make. I needed to make… Read more »
Thanks again for sharing Dave. I do appreciate you sharing your opinion on here and everything, and at the same time we are going to have to agree to disagree on some things as well. This isn’t a matter of me judging other believers the way you are expressing (although we are actually called to judge those within the church, but not those outside the church (1 Cor. 5:12). I’m not “condemning” because I obviously can’t do that, but all believers are called to look at those within the church and judge. Judge as it spur one another on to… Read more »
I and my husband got a divorce,then later,got back together and we decided not to get married,yet, while we were married It was miserable and he cheated 2x, due to the misery, he has not cheated for 14yrs. We are now so much more happier than when we were when we were married. I love and worship God, Jesus Christ,and I don’t see the harm,a marriage certificate started in 1902, for legal purposes, I do not believe that God would desert me for this, and some say it is Satan tricking me, due to that we are happier without marriage.… Read more »
Hey Terri, Appreciate your feedback and willingness to read the post. There are a few things I think I’d want to say to your response. I can’t know for sure if you’re a follower of Christ, but from what you’ve said, I’m going to respond to you as you are since you mentioned that you love and worship Jesus. Being a follower of Jesus, means you’ve died to self and that you are a new creation in Him. That means when you’re making decisions in every day life, you’re asking yourself, “what would glorify God most in this situation?” vs… Read more »
Again as you just said, it is an opinion formed by those within a church that it is wrong, even though no verse in the bible says that it is wrong.
Hey Isaac, I responded above to you but will copy the same response right here as well. It’s important here to realize there is not a specific black and white verse for every sin that is possible out there in the world. Not only is sin something that goes against God and things that do not glorify Him, there are also sins of omission (when we know we should do something but we don’t). If the Bible accounted for every single individual sin, they all wouldn’t fit in the Bible. Similar to how everything Jesus did while here on earth… Read more »
Dear Mike, Wonder if it’s appropriate to post an inquiry in this Reply room, if not forgive me, because I need help desperately. My story: My middle 30 yr old daughter and her future fiance plan to live together after engaged and after one year they plan to marry (he thinks they can save lot of money). They both are Christians. And his father is pastor (I haven’t met his parents yet). And he is 5 years younger. Also isn’t one year too long to live together and marry after 1 year? My husband is very upset about their planning… Read more »
Hey Jennifer, Thanks so much for reading and for sharing. I think you can tell what my thoughts would be from this post because I’ve been there personally and “justified living together” for many reasons including money and “testing the waters.” You said his sitting position is not as listening…I’d be careful there only because you can’t tell what’s really going on his heart so that is a little strict and potentially judgmental. I’d just be careful there. Besides that, from your perspective, I’d meet his parents and discuss the situation. While we can’t control our children even as adults… Read more »
Mike, it seems like you make the assumption that a couple living together will ultimately end in them having pre-marital sex. This whole article seems to be based on that underlying assumption. So it doesn’t really fully answer the question that the articles title poses, which is ‘What’s wrong with living together before marriage?’ If the couple is fornicating, then yes, that is obviously a sin. We don’t need you to write an article on that, espousing why, because we need only open our bibles to understand as much. Where is there a bible verse, or a CCC reference, denoting… Read more »
Hey Dave, thank you for sharing your thoughts and opinions on this. Sounds like you did not get it from the post but there’s much more to the whole situation than just sexual sin, although that is a very important topic to not even have a hint of according to the Bible. All of this simply comes down to the matter of the heart. When we make our own decisions and our own plans and then we “invite God” to help us along the way, that actually is thinking that is more self-centered than God centered. Where the Bible is… Read more »
Mike, I understand and agree with what you’ve said about living together before marriage. What I don’t understand is when the couple has lived together for years, perhaps having one or more children they decide to get married and have an elaborate wedding. Most parents think it’s great and gladly pay all expenses. Sorry, but in my way of thinking that money could go towards paying a house payment or rent, bills and such. I know, I’m old-fashioned and have been told as much. They say today it’s different than in your day. Yes, thankfully things were different in the… Read more »
Thanks for sharing Joyce! I think for the follower of Jesus, it comes down to what will glorify God the most and how to be a great steward. I think a lot of us would handle marriage expenses in many different ways, but I think the biggest takeaway is someone choosing to get married and come under the Biblical authority in terms of what real marriage is. That to me is the biggest win and is a cause for celebration. Should you spend $20k? Probably not, but I think it’s ok to put money towards those celebrations as well. Really… Read more »
I’m wanting to live with my boyfriend but I see now it’s a sin.. I love him a lot but I need reassurance of life living with him before getting married. I know a few people who have had failed marriages because of not being completely happy with the person (life at home wise) and have gone through divorce. Divorce is also a sin. What if I marry to see a change in the person that I don’t like.. how am I suppose to know?
Hey Amber, thanks for sharing. If you’re a follower of Christ, I would suggest walking in community with others over this and talking with your local pastor at the church. I would also do pre-marital counseling with your boyfriend. Only because if you guys see yourselves getting married, going through that counseling will address things you’ll want to address now so you’ll know when you get married you’ll have the same principles. I used to think I had to live with my girlfriend to almost “test the living situation” and it was kind of the “last step before marriage”, however,… Read more »
This clarifies a lot. I have a more difficult situation. I’ve recently have been seeking a better relationship with God and I have two children with the same man I’ve been with for the passed four years. What advice could you give me for our situation? I’m wanting to live right and I know what I should do, but since he is the father of my children I’m kinda lost.
Hey there Vanes, thanks for sharing. I would strongly suggest being a part of your local church that teaches Jesus is the only way and within that community have people come alongside you to help you in the transition. Be encouraged that it’s often difficult to follow Jesus and there are issues we have to face along the way, but it’s still the right decision to pursue God and want to glorify Him in everything you do and if you’re starting that afresh now, then that’s awesome! I’d get with your community and help them find you a place (at… Read more »
Please i am 31yrs and i and my man have committed sin by having sex. And he is 31years too please should I marry him? He wants to marry him and we love ourselves. He’s planning to relocate to where am staying so that we can make plans together. Please i need advice thank you.
Hey Mike, and other readers, I am simply commenting to say thank you very much for this post and the amount of clarification you provide for those who comment. I am going through a situation now, just graduated, wanting to live together with my girlfriend, all that. And though I intend to marry, we are not yet married. And I realize there are many motivations for why I want to live with her: of course it would save money, but I also love her and know how well we get along and how much fun it would be (we are… Read more »
Awesome David, thank you so much for reading and for the encouragement! I think what you said was true and I’m excited for your future marriage and family and believe they are starting on the best foundation they can!
I’ve never met a Christian woman and don’t think God wants me to get married. I broke this rule now live in eternal damnation. I’m in a relationship with a non Christian, we now live together, and my divorce is not even finalized. I really hate myself because God is the only good thing in my life, now He is going to leave too. Thanks I really needed this. I wish there was a better way.
Hey Brian, I’m sorry for your struggle, but rest assured God won’t leave you or forsake you, but will always desire for repentance for you. He’ll never give up..the question will be if you’ll give up or not. Be encouraged to not give up pursuing The Lord, even when you are struggling. I think if you desire to have a relationship with God and you know of these in your life that are wrong like you mentioned, then I would change up your situation and make some big changes in your life. 1. Because you know it’ll honor God and… Read more »
Any advice would be appreciated. Well this is a bit of a unique situation I met my girlfriend in the same house I lived in, let me explain we were students and moved into a commune we didnt know each other before hand but became best friends and close from Day 1 then two weeks later we were dating. It worked really well being able to build a strong relationship, not having to make time to see each other cooking dinner together so with regards to “moving in together” we had already moved in together before we met each other.… Read more »
Hey Nick, thanks for sharing and appreciate you reading the post. That’s great that you guys came to the conclusion that serving Jesus as a Christian was more important than serving yourselves and sinning. That was a great first step. Sleeping in the same bed and being that close to each other is a benefit of marriage in my opinion and not something to do in dating. I’m sure you could tell I was going to say that from the post but you are putting yourselves in tempting and dangerous situations..even if it’s in an effort to “be strong and… Read more »
My friend is living with her boyfriend and has told me she’s starting to feel the guilt. She is a believer in Christ. She sees red flags with the way her boyfriend disciplines her two boys. And a few other things about him bother her. I asked if she ever thought about asking him to move out. She owns her own house. She seems open to exploring this but I can tell she’s struggling on how & what to tell him. What are some steps and guidance I could give her as food for thought to help her bring up… Read more »
Hey Ana, great questions and thanks for sharing. I would use some of the guidelines in this post to encourage as if she is a believer on why it’s important for her to make those decisions. Especially if Christ going to be first in her life. Everything comes back to that. Are the decisions she is making more concerned with glorifying God or something else? Going off of that and asking him to move out until they can get married (for all the reasons listed above) will reveal where the real priorities are in his life as well and will… Read more »
I’m in a similar boat. I got saved 8 years ago, after having children with the father of my kids. The past 5 years I’ve been convicted and really wanting to glorify God and be obedient to His word. God honors marriage, and I want to be married. The father of my kids is not a believer. In all my years serving the Lord, he has yet been convicted by the Holy Spirit. I want out of this relationship so badly, but am riddled with guilt if I walk away. 11 year’s with Daniel I’ll be 31 years old this… Read more »
Hey Christina, First off thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. I know it’s not easy to share something like this and can’t imagine everything you have gone through over the years. I’ll always encourage you to be in the Word, keep praying, keep seeking out The Lord for wisdom and discernment in these things, and make decisions that puts God first before anyone or anything else. However, at the same time, there’s no way I could prescribe an answer in this situation and won’t try to in terms of a blog post comment thread. I’d highly suggest you get… Read more »
If you are stuck in a relationship where either the boyfriend or girlfriend DO NOT get along with your children then you need to end that relationship. End it fast.
What about the Samaritan Woman at the well? Jn. 4. Jesus did not recognize her as being married to the guy she was living with! She realized it was a Sin when he pointed that out! God’s ways are the safest ways, tho’ maybe hard to the flesh at times, Best in the long run!!! Just Saying!!!
I myself have a Question of my own. I know Living together is still a Sin and Sex before Marriage, but I haven’t been told anything myself about if I am allowed to stay the night at my Girlfriends house, is that a Sin as well? cause its not specifically Living with her.
Hey Payton thanks for reading and great question. Sometimes I think we take our situations and ask “is this sin or is this situation sin” and while it may be sin, it’s often followed with, “well I’m not seeing that in the Bible.” Part of the reason behind that is that the Bible doesn’t give a black and white answer to everything, but in your context, the question is more of “what is the best way I can glorify God in my situation” so spending the night at your girlfriends house or a girl spending the night at her boyfriends… Read more »
My boyfriend and I have already comitted sexual sin, and as a result, we are having a baby. We know God forgives, and we have talked about stopping the sex until we would be married. But not sure we are quite ready for marriage yet though. I cannot imagine not living together once the baby is born. It just seems like it would complicate things tremendously. What suggestion would you have for us other than the obvious “getting married”.
Hey Nancy, thanks for sharing. I first just want to say I don’t think I can give you a complete answer through a blog post and I’d encourage you both to pursue pre-marital counseling and walk through this with a pastor and with brothers and sisters in Christ. The difficult thing about this and we know this as followers of Jesus…when we make decisions that are outside of the way God has designed things, we often find trouble with them and complications are the result of many of those decisions. Yes it would complicate things tremendously like you said if… Read more »
I’m Christian, and I do believe in waiting for marriage. But I feel as if you are living together before you’re married but living the way God wants you to, then there is no issue. Also not everyone has to know you’re living with them. I understand temptation as well, but you don’t sin because the devil got you, you sin simply because you wanted too. Having self control, and always going to Jesus when there’s that temptation. I don’t think there’s a problem with living with someone before you’re married just as long as you’re not doing sinful things.… Read more »
Thanks for sharing Emily. The difficult part for the Christian I think is that we are called to live to a higher standard of living than the world. So for example, living together with someone can still be wrong because it presents to the world that it’s ok to do so…so others do that because they see you guys doing it…and they can sin. Everyone including them and you guys would play a role in the sin and would be held accountable. We are called to not be a stumbling block to our brothers and sisters in Christ, not have… Read more »
Just piggyback of off Emily comments, I stand with her view point and I believe your response to her was ” even tho we are not sinning by living together we are not being a better example for others who may Be weaker!” My only response to that is the part in the Bible when it says I cannot burn for sins of others nor can Someone else save me from my sins or pay for my sins something like. I believe god gave us tremendous free will to do the right things and what’s righteous but like I said… Read more »
So given that this is just a matter of interpreting vague scripture, that is, this is the opinion of a man, and given that this nowhere says anything about living together married or not, I take it as a matter of personal conviction. I lived with my wife before marriage and it helped us grow together and adapt to each other. Our marriage was by the county clerk too, which the Bible does not actually say is recognized by God. But really, the Bible says nothing on the matter of needing a government to proclaim you married nor even a… Read more »
Show me a verse in the Bible where it specificically says not to live with a female before marriage all this article did was prove that sex before marriage is a sin but when it came to living to get her you provided no scripture to back your statement you did for everything g else but that all that is is a just an opinion
Thanks for sharing Codey, but I don’t think you’re going to find any answers that you’re looking for is you always want the Bible to specifically say everything about everything. There are many things the Bible doesn’t specifically talk about, but if you read the Bible as a whole, there is much more clarify than most people think. For example however it may sound silly, does the Bible say not to drive on the wrong side of the road? Since it doesn’t, I guess we can drive down one way streets? With that line of thinking there is a LOT… Read more »
You didn’t really answer the question.
Your entire defense is that it could be seen as bad, so we shouldn’t do it?
Like when Jesus gets angry?
Or when Paul quotes pagan gods?
Hi Cody, If you want your answer accurate and precise is best you seek them from the lord, he will surely convey his message through his disciples or through your conscious – a mind which is designed to his likeness. Matthew 19:5″ The lord Jesus clearly stated that ” 5 And God said, ‘So a man will leave his father and mother and be ·united with [joined to] his wife, and the two will become ·one body [as though they were one person; T one flesh; Gen. 2:24].’ – Extended version. That a man would leave his background such as his… Read more »
Someone made the comment to me that there is no mention of people not living together in the Bible, and there is not, but because those who have his Spirit and know God’s character and nature know that this is not what he wants us to do. I also told this person that there is no mention of homosexuals not marrying in the Bible either, but once again, if you have his Spirit and know his nature and character you know that this is not pleasing to God either. Too many people are professing to know him, but by their… Read more »
YOUR RIGHT! It takes the holy ghost of our Lord Jesus, and the father to reveal this principles to us as he sets such examples by his teachings and doctrines. Its best to examine the gospel clearly and the letters of the apostles who experienced the physical Jesus and spirit. Follow these examples and let them rectify us to see the standards of God in clear form of his divine image. Additionally, for both men and women to cohabit together in harmony, the lord always directed this context to marriage. As well, this indicated in the book of Genesis 2,… Read more »
Hello Mike, I was wondering if you could please help my boyfriend with this topic. He doesn’t quite understand it and was hoping you could help. Maybe over E-Mail? Thanks!
Sure thing Kayla, no problem! Have him contact me and I’d love to talk to him. Thanks so much!!
Hey Mike, I’m looking for a Godly man to help give my boyfriend some insight on this topic. Would you be willing to mentor him over email?
Sure thing, that would be awesome! Have him contact me and I’d love to talk to him. Thanks for reaching out!
Mike, Apologies. I had to start a new thread since there wasnt enough room. To recap, I asked that if a couple lived together before marriage and stayed pure (meaning no fornication) then married did they sin? I asked that you answer this with scripture. You responded that you believe they should not move in. I know you believe that. However, lets just say that they did, and did fornicate, then married. Now to further clarify, because it seems necessary, when I ask “did they sin?” I’m not asking “did they sin ever in their lives?”, but ‘how is the… Read more »
So… in short, living with a member of the opposite sex is not a sin. You will never find that in the bible. It just looks bad amongst other belivers.
Hey Lee,
Thanks for sharing, but I think if you were to read through the post again and see what followers of Christ are called to do and how they are called to live (for the glory of God) you would see where sin is involved and how it’s much more than just “looking bad amongst believers”. Thanks again for sharing.
Mike, Apologies. I meant to post this here. thank you for the reply. I assure you, I read through your post again and came to the same conclusion: based on what you have posted here, there is no scriptural evidence that the act of a man and woman living together is a sin in the eyes of almighty God. While you have given plenty of scriptural evidence for why it appears so in the eyes of men. We are called and encouraged to flee from fornication. I assume this is why you simply suggested that couples not live together. Whilst… Read more »
I agree with you that it’s possible for us to fight temptation and we can overcome that through His Word and through His Power and you made mention about how we should flee fornication…both great points. The problem is where you lie your head at night does indeed make a difference and we very much underestimate the enemy we have against us when we don’t flee. It would be naive of me, you, anyone who thinks they can just “make a commitment” to live with someone like that and not fall short. Not only are they sending the wrong message… Read more »
Thanks for that, Mike, I think you misunderstand my statement. However, instead of asking you to read it again, i’ll be more clear. There was no statement made insinuating remotely that man has anything to prove to God. This is not scriptural. However, it gives me insight to how easy it is for misinterpretation to lead to false conclusion. The God we serve is a deliberate God. He makes his intention for what he wants his children to not do very clear. So clear that there is no need for us to pick and chose scripture to fit what we… Read more »
Thanks again for sharing Lee. I’ll wrap up this thread with the following comment only because we’ll only be able to go so far on blog post thread and the word can be misinterpreted like you said. When I say people “making a commitment” and falling short, what I mean is that we will always fall short. We can “make commitments” all we want, but we’ll never be able to hold them..we will always fall short and sin over and over…that’s why Jesus came. So to answer your final question…I still believe that those two people should not move in.… Read more »
Mike
Thank you. However, you did not answer my question. The context given is that they did move in, stayed pure and married. Did they sin? Use scripture. Thanks
Lee, you are trying to use scripture to justify what you are doing. Obviously, you see what scripture says in ‘fleeing from sin’ and ‘being above reproach’ and ‘not being a stumbling block to others.’ Those all refer to this subject, but because you don’t want to obey those, you look further for a scripture that says explicitly “do not live together”. The scripture you are asking Mike to show you is already there – you just have to choose whether or not you want to obey it. We can’t have a scripture for our every need or question. We… Read more »
Thanks Pat. I was worried that my question wasn’t answered because we ran out of room in this thread. I will make a suggestion: Instead of telling me what I’m trying to do, and telling me what I see, why not just ask? No need to be rude. You didn’t answer my question either, but instead decided to attack me personally. So I’ll explain where I am coming from: I think that the writer should have done a better Job separating his opinion on the word from the word itself. Context is important. For instance, lets take ‘not being a… Read more »
Matthew 19:5Expanded Bible (EXB) 5 And God said, ‘So a man will leave his father and mother and be ·united with [joined to] his wife, and the two will become ·one body [as though they were one person; T one flesh; Gen. 2:24].’ This one scripture which also identifies Genesis 2:24 tells us about the relationship between both distinctive genders before they mutually join and leave together becoming one under Gods marriage seal. Therefore it would be wrong for a man either a women to leave together unless the married because one of them would need to leave their family, parents… Read more »
Thanks, Bukky. I Appreciate the response. You make a great point. We have to be careful with what we interpret as a commandment. Here’s why: If this commandment says “man WILL leave his father and mother and be united…” it means that every man who does not leave and does not marry is sinful. If God says “man WILL”, then how is that different from “thou SHALL?” However, Paul later writes ” I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.(referring to the single life)” If this is a commandment,… Read more »
You are sincerely welcome. You have a brilliant mind, Christ led by the Holy Ghost who is grace to all men that follows the wisdom of God rather the foolishness of the world. Therefore you right with the aspect of Apost Paul communicating his letter to the saints, and hopefully unbelievers would be also inspired. His letters tells us that a large feature of his word were translated by him but in the guide of the Holy Ghost originated from God. All scriptures are God breathed 2 Timothy 3:14-18 , whereby it takes Gods divine intervention to make this word… Read more »
If they did move in together, stayed pure and married, then no, they did not sin.
Temptation is always present of course, especially in the first few years of any relationship. It doesn’t matter if you are living together or not. Boyfriend or girlfriend can always come for a visit and end up in the sack with you whether it’s just for the afternoon or the weekend, or overnight.
That, of course, can lead to problems…such as a surprise pregnancy
Now for using scripture there is 1 John 2:16, Proverbs 6:25, Matthew 5:28, Matthew 5:32, 2 Samuel 13:1-2
Mike, thank you for the reply. I assure you, I read through your post again and came to the same conclusion: based on what you have posted here, there is no scriptural evidence that the act of a man and woman living together is a sin in the eyes of almighty God. While you have given plenty of scriptural evidence for why it appears so in the eyes of men. We are called and encouraged to flee from fornication. I assume this is why you simply suggested that couples not live together. Whilst I will agree that it opens the… Read more »
Well living together is the best way to go these days especially if each couple have their own place which they just can see each other almost everyday which it would be a much better way anyway. And if you happen to have a Disagreement with each other and argue a lot over it which usually it is very Stupid most of the time which then you can go back to your own places since both of you would most likely have your own place and not to worry where to live. Well that would really make sense.
Hey there, I think I understand what you’re saying but it wasn’t too clear. If it was encouraging a couple not to live together then I’m sure you can tell from the post, I would definitely agree with that and biblically it’s the wise decision.
Thanks for sharing!
Yes I would also agree with this type of institution that Christ the lord has established. It must be a setting where husband and wife can be equally yoked or settled in a home which is based on the covenant of marriage. If a man or women loves their partner then they should proof it by the will of faithfulness and enternal agreement such as jurisdiction and contract of marriage beside what is the point to form a relationship which isn’t going anywhere. When I mean anywhere could you see yourself getting anywhere with this person by at least forming… Read more »
Hello. I’ve been in a relationship with someone for 8 years. We live together and have two boys 7 & 3. He doesn’t want to get married, not a believer and will not come to church. I’ve stop attending church mainly bc of shame and hurt. I truly love him but have no idea if he loves me. The good news is we’ve both been 100% faithful – no cheating. Well now I’m now exhausted waiting for marriage, and our fights are getting worse. The last one was so bad, he told me i could leave but cannot take the… Read more »
Hey there, Thank you for sharing and very sorry to hear about everything going on. The very first thing I would say is that if you are being threatened whatsoever, please call the police immediately to report this. Safety for you and for your children needs to be your first concern in any relationship. Please call the police if you feel unsafe and make arrangements for you and for the kids with either them, other family or friends, and even the church to help you. You don’t have to live in shame to not go to church…we are all in… Read more »
Don’t forsake going to church because you feel ashamed. That’s the enemy talking. Go back to church, even if it’s not that church! Remember Jesus DOES wash away all the guilt and the shame!
Please allow me to ask for your advise and suggestion… really need biblical prospective on an issue: I am currently studying the bible with a woman, she is from very poor upbringing, living with her four young children (all under the ages of 10) and their father for 14 years now), while studying the bible the issue of their living arrangement was discussed, with a brave heart and with much counseling my friend had the conversation with the father of her children, telling him her growing convictions regarding what scripture shows of their living arrangement and in as such she… Read more »
Hey Melissa, thanks for sharing and great question. I think you could probably tell from the most what I believe and what I would encourage you to share to that woman. It sounds great they are planning to get married very soon and I would encourage them to do that asap and in the meantime making different living arrangements for a couple of weeks. There are plenty of ways they could do that but at the end of the day the larger question is what is the priority in their marriage? If they are followers of Jesus, then all decisions… Read more »
Great article Mike. I am sort of at an impasse in my life and ended up in this type of situation. I was married for 8 years and my girlfriend for 5. Both of our ex-spouses didn’t want the responsibility of being parents anymore. I never thought I’d be a single dad of 3 young kids and she never thought she’d be left to care for 4 young children without a job. I firmly believe the Lord brought us together, there were too many signs that couldn’t be denied. I have an awesome job that provides me with a great… Read more »
Hey Joe, Thanks for reaching and thanks for reaching out! I want to be as sensitive in my response through a blog comment as possible because I can only imagine how difficult the whole situation has been for you and for her, your pasts, raising children through all of that, etc. but there are a couple of things I think I should say in light of your comment. I would encourage you (I’m sure you could assume this from the post) to either get married asap, or hold off on living together until you’re married. Not only for your relationship… Read more »
My girlfriend and I were planning on getting married sometime next year, after we have both finished college. However, we have recently had a son out of wedlock (I know, bad, we beat ourselves up about it already and have just tried to do the right things since). That being the case, we have elected to put off the wedding in order to use the money to support our son. We (she) decided we should not to live together still. I was and still am caught between discerning whether I believe god would moreso advocate providing our son with a… Read more »
Hey Adam, thanks so much for sharing and great questions. I’ll at least tell you what I believe within this situation and I don’t mean for it to come across like it’s easier than what it really is, but I think it’s the best I can for a blog comment. I think the best thing you could do to support your son is to get married. There are many plans and money involved I know, but at the same time you can always get married, make things official, then celebrate however you want later. Your son would have a father… Read more »
That does help immensely, and I have actually been the one pushing for us to simply go to the courthouse and get married. However, she is stuck on having a traditional marriage (the big ceremony) so I’ve kind of hit a dead end with that line of reasoning, haha. She believes it would be unhealthy for our relationship to accelerate just because we have a child and is trying to make choices without them being affected by the fact that we have a son together. I feel as though she is in a very dangerous place in that regard and… Read more »
Well this is where it gets a little tough, but if you guys believe God has called you both to each other and you are going to get married, then there’s no reason to wait. That would be the case regardless. On top of that, you guys know Biblically the problem with having sex before marriage, but at the end of the day it happened and you both can repent and stay away from sexual temptations and now handle the situation with your son. That being said, of course your son plays a huge factor. He is no more or… Read more »
I don’t see in bible where it says living together is a sin that will send you to hell. I cannot marry my girlfriend ever anyways so that would mean I’m going to hell to suffer the lake of fire and share the same fate as someone like Hitler all because I’m living with my gf. He has millions killed out of hate, I’m a person with a disability and cannot marry so I’m supposed to be living alone and break up with my gf for the remainder of my natural life on earth….seems ridiculous to be punished that way.
Hey Gabriel, thank you for sharing. Let’s clarify a few things here. First off, there is no sin that you can do that will send you to hell….going to heaven or hell isn’t about a sin you can do or not do…but is all dependent on having a relationship with Jesus. Jesus paid the penalty for all of your sins…past, present, and future ones. That point is a fact and when He rose from the dead, He defeated death and sin in victory. That means for those who believe in Jesus and confess that He is Lord and they’ll follow… Read more »
It does a bit yes, it is a bit of a complex scenario I’m in and it’s making me terribly depressed as I find it hard to be 100% perfect. I just feel like if I lead a good life and truly do my best that it won’t be good enough and that’s what’s stressing me out. I just want a normal life despite not being able to work. I want to be happy, I want God to be happy. If we get married I lose 100% of my benefits and yeah…a little complex to type in a post but… Read more »
I’m sorry Gabriel. I can assure you that regardless of your performance of how good you think you live or how bad you think you live, if you believe in Jesus and follow Him according to the Bible, you will be saved. That’s a fact and it’s because it’s about what Jesus has done for you, not about what you can do for Jesus. Maybe there is a Church you can get involved with and talk with some local pastors and leaders to help walk with you through this time to make wise and Godly decisions while meeting needs at… Read more »
I’ve tried that and basically was told I’m destined for Hell because my gf and I are fornicating as we can’t get married, I’m disabled and I would 100% lose my benefits, she’s not able to support me. So it’s stay with my gf that I love in this lifetime and have a kid and go to hell so it seems, or throw away the woman I love and become celibate for rest of my life but inherit kingdom of God, there is no exceptions to the rule in bible for what if someone truly cannot get married if they… Read more »
I’m sorry you were told you were destined for hell. That is decided based on you having a relationship with Jesus or not. I’m sure you can tell from the post that I wouldn’t support you two living together because I do believe it is sinful….but just because someone is sinning doesn’t mean they are going straight to hell. Many people including myself have to learn what sin is according to the Bible and then repent of that and make changes in our lives. I believe there might be options for you and I would suggest getting involved in a… Read more »
Your disability award is yours! No one can take it from you! Married or not! Check with your local Social Security Disability Office
Dear Gabriel….so what your saying is do whatever you want and you will be saved as long as you believe in Christ. St Paul believed in christ yet was in fear of losing his salvation!!! You fail to mention Christ also said, anyone who puts his wife away and marrys another commits adultry. You are sending souls to hell with your jibberish !!!!
Just got engaged after 2 years dating, we are both Christians, she would like us to move in together before we are married and is calling it a deal breaker if we don’t. I didn’t see this one coming, I’m thinking what does waiting 7 months mean to me as it relates to the relationship and God? It’s a tough decision for me as while I feel convicted to hold firm I also wonder what does this matter to me and if it matters to God.
If it’s a deal breaker with her, then don’t move in, but definitely move on. What’s my reason? Simple, she is making herself the head of the household now, and probably will continue that after marriage. God should always be the head of the marriage, not the woman.