Out of the Gate: Rollup of the First 15 Episodes
Over the first 15 episodes, Mike, Chris, and guests have covered a lot of topics related to taking a step forward while even taking a few steps back to see the bigger picture. If you’ve joined us on the adventure so far, here’s an opportunity to reflect on some of our favorite content. If you are new to the podcast and want to join us mid-journey, here’s a chance to get caught up with some highlights.
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What stood out over the first 15 episodes of Not Quite There? Mike Mobley and Chris Howard put together a “greatest hits” of clips, and the thread running through them is simple: take the next step with Jesus, and don’t take it alone. The clips cover anxiety and our broken bodies and minds, why no man is an island, Proverbs 16:9 and getting off the couch, honest motives about food, empathy when people make mistakes, worship songs as mini sermons, encouraging one another, getting connected to a local church, finding your value in Christ, honest prayer and confession, and opening your hands. Mike and Chris also explain why they started the podcast, out of obedience, and announce that it’s for women too. Below: the key takeaways, the Scripture discussed, and the full episode transcript.
Why a Podcast? Obedience
People ask Mike why they started Not Quite There. His honest answer is obedience: they sensed the Lord in it, it’s fun, and God seems to be working through it. Fifteen episodes in, Chris admits the show began as a podcast for men, while Mike pushed to keep the door open. Women are listening, and the guys say it plainly: the ladies are welcome. We’re all not quite there.
Our Minds Are Broken Too
For two years, Mike’s main goal was figuring out why he was having anxiety. Then a counselor told him he was asking the wrong question. Nobody questions a 90-year-old breaking a hip, but when a 20-year-old’s brain is struggling, we wonder what’s wrong with that person. Biblically, there’s no separation between our bodies and our minds. Both are broken in a fallen world.
No Man Is an Island
Chris pushes back on the lone-wolf image movies have sold us. We need men around us who will be honest with us and take honesty back, like a team that fails if players don’t help each other. Encouraged people encourage people, so ask a friend how they’re really doing, share how you’re doing, and commit to pray for each other. Mike adds that guys struggle with the same things and rarely talk about it, until someone goes first. A guest from an earlier episode adds the starting point: get connected to a local church, meet up with a guy, open the Word, start in Genesis and keep reading.
Take the Next Step, With Honest Motives
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Mike reads that as: get off the couch. God often leads through small daily steps, not a five-year plan. He’s also honest about why he gets off track with food: he wants what he wants, when he wants it. A guest warns against chasing 40 things at once, since the people who grow are the ones who do one thing well, over and over. And Mike describes the good exhaustion of a day spent loving your wife and kids, compared with the restless sleep of ignoring your responsibilities.
Empathy, Grace and Songs Worth Carrying
Chris learned through his own mistake to have empathy when people mess up, and Mike challenges all of us to show that grace, even to the customer service worker having a bad day, because Jesus was perfect on our behalf. A worship pastor guest reminds us that a Sunday set of four or five songs is four or five mini sermons, so they had better be rich in theology. He’s encouraged to see churches returning to vertical songs that lift Jesus high.
Value, Confession and Open Hands
Imagine having your identity settled at 20: God loves you, and everyone else’s opinion is just an opinion. Mike didn’t have that, and he says it would have changed everything. Chris says that when something has hampered you too long, confess it, tell a good friend and get on a plan. Mike encourages honest prayer, even “God, I don’t want to be patient.” Confession leads to healing. Letting go feels like slowly opening your hands, and when they’re open, the pressure releases. We can’t step into the uncomfortable without Jesus leading, and that’s the point: become more like him.
Scriptures From This Episode
Proverbs 16:9 (the heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps) · Hebrews 10:24 (spur one another on to love and good works) · James 5:16 (confession and healing)
These are quoted or paraphrased in the clips rather than cited by reference.
Go deeper: The Struggle With Anxiety is Real · Are You A Grown Up Man Child? · Does God Care About How We Eat? · Don’t Tell Me to Be Patient · Hitchhiker’s Thumb, Bible, and Community · The Road to Nashville, The Heart of a Worship Pastor, and Dependence on God
Full Transcript, Not Quite There, Episode 16: Out of the Gate: Rollup of the First 15 Episodes
Chris: All right.
Mike: All right, all right. So, Chris, something that came to mind recently: what’s one of your favorite greatest hits albums out there?
Chris: One of my favorite greatest hits albums. You see, I’m buying time by repeating the question.
Mike: You did that last episode, too.
Chris: You know what, Mike? It’s been a long time since I’ve heard of a greatest hits album, but I do like a good compilation on Spotify of different ’90s hits.
Mike: So maybe not an album these days.
Chris: We’re rolling with what’s available.
Mike: I didn’t mean a real record, but okay. Spotify, like ’90s.
Chris: I love putting on a compilation and being reminded of certain songs. Like country hits. The most recent was… you know how I like to float in the pool. I like to have some ’80s and ’90s country to float to, if you can imagine that.
Mike: So “This Girl Is on Fire” mixed in with some ’80s and ’90s country.
Chris: The song list is on fire at that point.
Mike: Oh, man. Okay. Great. What about me? I like a good compilation. Remember the Now CDs that came out? They’re on like Now 75 by now.
Chris: Tell me more about it.
Mike: You don’t know what I’m talking about. The compilation CDs.
Chris: I want to hear more.
Mike: They came on in the commercials: “Check out the Now!”
Chris: There it is.
Mike: Good Jock Jams, the Beatles, greatest stadium rock, rock anthems. The Eagles, the Beatles, all the other old…
Chris: ’70s hits.
Mike: Creed’s greatest hits. Nothing wrong with a Creed greatest hits album.
Chris: There you go.
Mike: There are lots of good greatest hits. Speaking of greatest hits, I brought that up because you had an interesting segue you talked about before we recorded, that you wanted to bring up today. What was that again?
Chris: Yeah. We’re 15 episodes in, and I like to think about the beginning. It’s been several months now. At the beginning, we talked about how this was primarily a podcast geared toward men. And you mentioned, “Hey, Chris, let’s keep an open mind. Let’s not cast anybody out the door. Let’s keep that door open for anybody who would like to participate by listening.” And as we’ve gone 15 episodes in, we’ve seen it’s not just men who are listening. So kudos to you, Mike. You saw the vision way before I did. And we definitely want to be a podcast that can help and encourage…
Mike: The ladies are welcome. So, breaking news: co-host Chris is making an announcement that yes, while we’re hopefully going to mutually encourage one another as men, we know there’s obviously a place for women, and we’re all not quite there. And of course, we had daughters on recently, who are going to be great young women in the future. All are welcome. So this girl’s on fire. This guy’s on fire.
Chris: I didn’t mean to cause all that division, Mike.
Mike: Lots of drama. Lots of drama. But you know what? It’s okay. Fifteen episodes in. Can you believe we’re actually 15 episodes in? How do you feel about that?
Chris: It’s hard to believe, but I’m glad to be 15 episodes in. I’m glad we’re doing this together, that we’re enjoying it, that other people are listening and getting some enjoyment out of it, and we hope they’re taking some good wisdom nuggets from it as well. That’s what we’re doing this week, right? We want to lay out some of the things we feel have stood out over the past 15 episodes, so people can engage with them again, whether or not they were listening to the podcast yet. If they have been listening, maybe these will be a reminder, and they’ll want to revisit some of those episodes or share some of those things with others. Here’s a chance to hear them again.
Mike: I’ve been asked recently, I don’t know if you’ve gotten this, “Why did you guys even do the podcast?” That’s a great question, and I don’t know if we have the full answer outside of: we believe it was obedience. At least I’ll answer for me. We believe it was obedience to get it going. We felt like there was something there, and it’s fun. There seems to be joy, and something the Lord’s doing through both of us and the people we talk with. And like you just said, wisdom has come out in a way we can look back on. Whether we call it greatest hits or looking back, maybe every 15 episodes or maybe not, we can have a whole episode with a lot of wisdom that we feel stood out. That’s what we wanted to play for you today: various clips from our past episodes, and what we believe the Lord had stand out, to give you a chance to catch up and glean some of the wisdom we’ve been fortunate to glean, and go from there.
Chris: Certainly. We’ve had a few guests join us as well, and we’re thankful for what they shared on the episodes they were part of. We want to make sure some of the things they shared get a little more spotlight too, because we’re thankful for what God has been doing in their lives, and for their willingness to come on. That’s what we hope for in later episodes too. We definitely want to bring in more interviews with folks who have impacted us, or who are impacting others through their relationship with Christ. That’s going to be part of the plan going forward.
Mike: So give it a listen and let us know what you think. And we’ll come back at the end of these clips and talk a little more about Not Quite There.
Chris: And again, sorry for all that drama. I’m not quite there.
Mike: Yeah, you’re not.
Mike: He basically said, “If you’re coming in here trying to figure out why you’re having the anxiety, which is what everyone does, you’re asking the wrong question.” That piqued my interest, because my number one goal for two years was, “Why is this happening? So I can find out the reason why.” So I was like, “Okay, that’s interesting. What do you mean?” And he said, “Well, if you think about a 90-year-old breaking their hip, that all makes sense to us. We don’t question it. We have sinful bodies. They’re going to break as we get older. That’s what happens. But when a 20-year-old’s brain is broken and there are issues with that, we tend to go, ‘Ooh, that’s interesting. What’s wrong with that person?’ But biblically, there’s no separation between our bodies and our minds. They’re both broken.”
Chris: No man is an island, not in God’s economy. Surround yourself with men who are looking to grow in their Christlike faith, in their spiritual maturity, in their walk, who also want to engage in community. Make sure you’re part of that. Don’t walk alone. A lone wolf does not stand very long on its own. In the action movies and the other things we see, it’s the guy on his own who looks cool, who’s got it all figured out. That’s been marketed to us. It’s not that way. We need each other. We need other men around us. We need guys who are willing to be honest with us, and who are also willing to take some honesty back. It’s what we love about sports, when we play on teams: that’s the reality playing out. We have to help each other out, or else the team fails and suffers, right?
Mike: Christopher Walken, everyone, has come into the space.
Chris: Hello, gentlemen. I hear that you’re talking about anxiety, and I really think people out there need to understand: stop worrying. Life is too short.
Mike: Christopher, I think that’s the wrong take.
Chris: As my friend Bobby McFerrin said in his song, “Don’t worry, be happy.”
Mike: Oh, dear.
Chris: You’ve got to get it together.
Mike: Okay. All right. “The heart of man plans his way,” as Scripture says, “but the Lord establishes his steps.” Which I think means you have to get up from the couch. You have to take a step. Because we often sit there and go, “God, show me the way,” and then, “He’s never telling me anything.” Okay, if he says he’ll establish your steps, it clearly means you’ve got to get up. You have to take a step. Get going. And if you’re like, “I don’t know where to go,” start walking. He’ll establish your steps. Not necessarily a five-year plan or a ten-year plan. He could give us a big vision for that.
Chris: That’s fair.
Mike: But more often than not, I think it’s in the daily, minuscule steps. That’s also really encouraging to me, because I can step back, take a deep breath and go, “Okay, the next couple of steps.”
Mike: I know when I started getting off track, if I had to be gut-level honest, and I want to be vulnerable here, it feels weird to say, but it’s because I want to do what I want, when I want, how I want. I want to eat what I want, when I want, how I want, whatever time of day, even the middle of the night. There’s some flesh side of me that goes, “I deserve it. I’ve worked hard. This tastes good. Why should I have to limit myself?” As I get older, there are things I can’t eat that I could maybe 20 years ago.
Chris: Why do I need a bowl? Why not just the carton of ice cream?
Mike: Or a strip of bacon versus a bowl of bacon. Whatever. So it has to come down to my motivation. Frankly, I just want to do what I want to do.
Guest: We’ve seen, unfortunately, so many people on platforms fall. Geez, we just had another one like this last week. And it’s like, is everything just a facade? So who is the person that I know, that I see all the time, that I can ask questions, like, “What do you mean by that? What did you do in this situation?” Someone I can trust. Does that make sense? I think people are starving for that now.
Mike: To know and trust.
Chris: There’s empathy for others when they make mistakes. I think that was one of the lessons God wanted me to learn: when people make a mistake and you know they didn’t mean to, of course I can relate. So that’s a good word: a bit more patience.
Mike: That’s probably a really good word to end on: can we increase in our empathy? Obviously when we make a mistake, but really when others around us make a mistake. It’s funny how quickly we get bothered or aggravated. We talked about customer service, and the bar has gone down on some of that lately. But some of these people are just making mistakes. Sounds like I got choked up there for a second, but I promise I didn’t. I’m not crying. They’re making mistakes. Show grace and empathy to someone, because we’re not perfect, and Jesus is perfect on our behalf. We can clearly extend grace when people make mistakes. And, like you said, maybe be one of those people who can jump right in and help someone.
Guest: Songs had better be entrenched with great theology and doctrine, because people are going to take them out of their services on a Sunday and sing them throughout the week. That’s what they’re designed to do, right? So if they’re not rich in great theology and doctrine, then I’ve failed my church as a worship pastor to give them something to chew on for the week. So it’s being mindful of that as a worship pastor, every single Sunday you stand on a platform: the four- or five-song set you’re leading is in fact four or five mini sermons you’re imparting that day. You’re pastoring your people with those songs.
Mike: And of course there’s grace. If you waited and didn’t do it, or you’re thinking about past situations where you didn’t do it, that’s okay. Start now. Would you pray and be willing? Reach out now. Pause this podcast and call them, text them, whatever. Just reach out right now and speak life to whoever the Lord is prompting you to do that with.
Chris: That gets pretty exciting, right? Just to think about what that can do for somebody. Too often we hear “hurt people hurt people,” right? On the flip side, encouraged people can encourage people. You never know what you’re helping release that other person to do, to replicate that and encourage others in their lives. Ask your friend, “How are you doing? How is the conversation between you and your kids? Is it there?” Volunteer how things are going for you too. And maybe take that wild step of committing to pray for each other.
Mike: That’s a good word, because something we’re finding as a theme, as I’m saying this out loud, is how many guys struggle with the same things, and how many guys don’t talk to each other about it. But once you do, you go, “Oh, okay, cool. It’s not just me.” You’re encouraged, because we can mutually spur each other on to love and good works. It’s funny, because it seems so elementary. Of course we should do that. But we just don’t.
Guest: You need to be connected to a local church. I actually think that’s a big issue: we’ve got a lot of people who are just on the periphery, but not actually connected to a local body. So start there.
Mike: Get connected to a local church.
Guest: And then from there, ask a guy to meet up with you, like we’ve talked about, and talk about the Word from there. And then just open it up. To me, it’s never a bad idea to start in Genesis and just read. Start in Genesis and keep going from there. Absolutely, it’s going to get a little confusing for a while, and that’s okay. Keep reading. Power through, because it will actually start to unfold a bit and make a little more sense.
Mike: There are a lot of Christian shows and movies that talk about the Bible and can honor God. Let’s just say that as a preface. Can I just throw that out there?
Chris: You just did.
Mike: Thank you. But the quality of the shows, the scripts or the acting has been terrible.
Chris: Terrible.
Mike: The worst. I don’t even understand it. They’ve been really bad. Let’s just put it that way. They’ve been so bad that before I was a believer, I remember watching some of them and thinking that’s what Christianity was, and it was really cheesy. The Chosen is by no means perfect, but it’s making strides. I really do think the quality of the acting, performance and script is really, really good. I would say to anyone, it’s worth your time to give it a few episodes. I would give this one a shot. This is different.
Guest: The most successful people I’ve seen, not just in following after the Lord but in general, in the coaching world and the business world, are experts in one thing, and they repeatedly do that thing over and over and over again, and then they just take off. But sometimes in today’s world, because everything’s important, everything is breaking news, everything is “you have to do this,” we just keep chasing. And the next thing you know, it’s like, “Have I done anything? I’ve just been spinning around.” I don’t even know if I’ve grown at all, because I’m just super familiar with 40 different things.
Mike: A quantity over quality kind of thing.
Guest: There’s basically no quality at the end.
Mike: Let’s say you played your heart out at a game, and you laid it all out on the field. There’s something really satisfying about that. You might be exhausted, but it’s a good exhausted: “I really worked hard and strived to love my wife well, to serve my kids.” To drive home after a 12-hour day and prepare yourself for what some people call a second-shift mentality: “I’m going in to give my all to my family.” When your head finally hits the pillow, there’s something where you’re like, “I’m going to sleep really good.”
Chris: Your sleep ought to be really good.
Mike: Right. Versus: “I’m ignoring all my responsibilities. I’m eating the puffy Cheetos or playing video games. I’m not striving to do anything with work.” I don’t think that person’s sleeping good.
Guest: I’ve been so encouraged over the last four years or so to see the church return to singing vertical songs. What I mean by vertical is the “Holy, Holy, Holy” moments, songs like “How Great Is Our God”: our heart to God’s heart, and not singing so much about “woe is me, I’m in the pit.” We need those songs too. I think there’s a healthy balance. But to see songs being written that come back to this more vertical “we lift Jesus high,” and worship leaders and churches wanting to lead those kinds of songs, really encourages my worship leader heart, because those songs will always win.
Mike: This is for all of us today, still: where do we truly find our value?
Chris: Imagine having that identity settled at 20: you know that God loves you, and anybody else’s opinion is just an opinion. And then couple that with having friends who really care for you and want to see the best for you.
Mike: That’s huge. I would have gotten through so much. I didn’t have that, and I’m not blaming anyone, but it would have made a massive difference. With all the things you spoke to earlier coming at you while this life is being formed, you’d move through it with a level of confidence or clarity you just don’t have otherwise. So if you have those friends to help you forward, and you have your North Star of where your value is found, in Jesus, that’s your compass to keep going.
Chris: I think confessing it, here with you and with all of our friends out there, saying, “This is a real problem. This is something that has hampered me for much too long.” Why stay there? Why not move forward, and why not have that accountability to fall back on during those times? I think that’s a healthy way to approach it. If there is an issue, speak out about it. Let somebody know. Get some guidance. Go to a good friend, and then get on a plan.
Mike: Be honest with God himself. He already knows what we’re thinking. He knows exactly what you’re struggling with. He knows you and me more than we know ourselves. Sometimes we hold back. We don’t want to say all that to God, and you can fill in whatever the reason is. But he knows. So it’s so much more freeing to just go, “Okay, God, I don’t want to be patient.” Maybe your prayer is, “God, you’re frustrating me with this patience thing, and I don’t want to be patient.” But at least you’re saying something and showing some honest feelings. When we’re more honest in our prayers with the Lord himself, I think it leads us to be more honest with others. Then there’s confession, and the Bible says there’s healing with confession. And what do you know? We probably take a deep breath and grow a little more in our patience.
Chris: What’s the main goal here? What’s the thing to be learned? What’s God trying to show me? That tends to take a bit of the pressure off you, I would say.
Mike: I think so. When you finally let it go, I envision opening your hands. The process of opening your hands is really difficult. But by the time they’re flat-out open, I think the pressure actually goes off. That’s when you know you’ve given it over to the Lord. Honestly, the pressure releases.
Mike: If we’re not developing our relationship with Jesus, I don’t know how to do what you just described. What if someone asked me to go to Honduras, as an example, on a mission trip? Unless I know the Lord is leading me that direction, I don’t think my motivation in my flesh would be to say yes to the uncomfortable things. In my spirit, with the Holy Spirit leading me, I would say yes more often. But there’s no way I can do that without spending time with Jesus, right? Otherwise you’re just getting the opinions of others, or your own flesh is leading the way. There’s no way we’re going to step into the uncomfortable as the norm without Jesus leading the way. The achiever side of me doesn’t like hearing that. But I don’t think that achiever side is my godly side coming out. I think it’s my sinful side: “What do you mean I need help? What do you mean I’m dependent?” That’s a whole other thing we don’t like to hear. But if you look at Jesus, we have to have him. We have to need him, because we can’t do it.
Chris: And I think that’s the point too. If we’re going back in the time machine and telling our 20-year-old selves anything other than some derivative of “become more like Christ,” then we’re missing it.
Mike: So that’s just a look over the past 15 episodes. Of course, there’s so much more that was shared. If you go back and give those a listen, this is just a snippet of what we could pull from those episodes. Some of you know this, and some of you may not: obviously you’re listening to this on a podcast, but we’re also available on YouTube, and all these clips are on YouTube by themselves. And of course Facebook, Insta, LinkedIn, and our website, nqtshow.com. You can leave us a voicemail there as well. We’d love to hear from you. It’s basically like you’re giving us a call, and we might play it on the podcast or answer your questions. And leaving a review and a rating actually helps us reach more and more people, because we think everyone can relate to not being quite there.
Chris: Certainly. And that’s the heart behind it: we want it to reach as many people as possible who need a dose of encouragement to take that next step in obedience. Whether you’re listening from Chicago or Dripping Springs or Switzerland or Buffalo, wherever you might be, we just want to say thank you. Thank you for going along for the ride for the past 15 episodes, and here’s to 15 more. We’d love to see your support by liking and following and all the things you can do on social media to say that this is worth your time, because we certainly think you are.
Mike: For men and for ladies.
Chris: Yes. Yes.
Outro: Thanks so much for joining us. Please consider rating and reviewing our podcast and hitting subscribe on whichever platform you prefer. Remember to keep moving forward, because we’re not quite there.
