The Daughter’s Takeover of Not Quite There

The Daughter’s Takeover of Not Quite There

Chris and Mike’s daughters take over this week’s episode with a few questions of their own putting the guys back in the hot seat. There’s plenty of laughs, surprises, and even some affirming time as the dads tell their girls some things from the heart.

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What happens when your daughters take over your podcast? Mike Mobley and Chris Howard find out. Clara and Peyton hijack the episode with a list of questions their dads have never seen, and the answers run from goofy to genuinely deep: Mike’s favorite verse (1 John 4:19, “We love because he first loved us”), his biggest fear (a life of wasted time, and spiders), what God is teaching Chris (patience, again), why Mike loves his wife, genie wishes, dream jobs, Brussels sprouts and a lot of Whataburger. Then the dads take the mic back for a round of dad jokes and a few words of blessing over their girls. Below: the key takeaways, the Scripture discussed, and the full episode transcript.

“We Love Because He First Loved Us”

Asked for the Bible verse that means the most to him, Mike goes straight to 1 John 4:19. It’s simple enough to memorize, and it applies to everything. Why do we do anything at all? Because Jesus went first. He initiated. We can love people because he loved us first. We can forgive because he’s forgiven us. We can be patient with people because he’s been patient with us. So whatever we do, we do it because Jesus first.

The Fear of a Wasted Life

Peyton asks her dad what he fears most, and Mike goes serious. Picture himself at 90 or 99, looking back. His fear is that he spent a whole bunch of time on things that didn’t matter: not enough time doing what counted, or with the people who counted. A life he’d look back on and think, “I wasted a bunch of time.” (Spiders made the list too.)

Patience: “Please Don’t Teach Me That Again”

When Clara asks what God is teaching him lately, Chris doesn’t hesitate: patience. It has been well chronicled on this show. But the episode comes with breaking news, delivered by Peyton: Chris hit his sales goal for the first time. His takeaway is honest and very human: “Thank you, God, for teaching me patience. Please don’t teach me that again.” Earlier, asked how God has surprised him, Chris points to watching God take care of someone in his family when the money wasn’t there.

Why Mike Loves His Wife

Their first date was a six-hour coffee at Starbucks, and Mike says he knew within the first 30 minutes. They were a little older, had dated enough to know what they were looking for, and sensed where the Lord was leading. But what keeps him loving her more each day is who she is in Christ. No matter what’s going on in her life, she goes back to the Bible and asks what God says about it and what Jesus would do. And then she chooses that.

Genie Wishes, Dream Jobs and Hot Takes

Genie law says no wishing for more wishes, so Mike’s first wish is that everyone he knows (scratch that, the whole world) becomes a follower of Jesus. Then unlimited bacon with no side effects, and a self-cleaning pool of cold brew. Chris adds his own: salvation for all. Mike’s dream job? The one he has. He could do ministry the rest of his life. Along the way: Chris would rather be Batman, would be a Venus flytrap, loves The Princess Bride and The Brothers Karamazov, and hates spinach. Mike would erase Brussels sprouts from the planet and hates onions. Chris’s worst-best dad joke, the can opener that doesn’t work, wins the vote.

Speaking Blessing Over Our Daughters

Before signing off, both dads read a few words they wrote for their girls. Chris tells Clara she is smart, honest, sweet, kind and loyal, that he loves how God is shaping her as she puts him first, and that he respects how she stands up for herself and others. Mike tells Peyton she’s a strong leader who stands up for Jesus even when no one else does, with a contagious laugh, and thanks her for teaching him to be a better dad every day. Earlier, when Clara asks what he wants her to know, Chris keeps it simple: Jesus loves you. Every day. And tomorrow. And the day after that.

Scriptures From This Episode

1 John 4:19 (we love because he first loved us)

Go deeper: He First Loved Us · 3 Reasons Why We Love · How To Leave A Godly Legacy For Your Children · Scripture on Parenting · The Teen Daughter Takeover: What is a Real Friendship?

Full Transcript, Not Quite There, Episode 15: The Daughter’s Takeover of Not Quite There

Clara and Peyton: We’re taking over this podcast now.

Mike: Our daughters are taking over today’s podcast episode.

Chris: So what’s the best concert you’ve ever been to, or the biggest concert? It could be maybe the best and the biggest.

Mike: Straight to interview questions is how we’re kicking off today. Creed was a pretty good one. People either love or hate Creed. I’m actually seeing Creed again, which is amazing. Do you think they’re like 90 years old?

Chris: Do you think it will be as amazing as it was back then?

Mike: No, I think it’s going to be a bunch of old guys like me reminiscing about good times.

Chris: Well, the music then… I’m talking about the 90s. Take the DeLorean to the 90s.

Mike: Are you going to say 90s Foo Fighters?

Chris: No, actually I went to something called Rock Fest. It was here at the Texas Motor Speedway and it had all sorts of bands.

Mike: Was Rock Fest like Edge Fest?

Chris: It was like Edge Fest, but maybe even bigger. I was talking to our good friend Travis Muscatel. He was there too. And I’ve just been thinking about some of those bands and those songs this week, and thought maybe some of those songs might be needing to be redeemed.

Clara and Peyton: We’re taking over this podcast now.

Mike: What in the world is happening?

Clara and Peyton: We’re here to interview you guys.

Chris: Who are you?

Clara and Peyton: Your daughters.

Chris: Yes, you are. Our daughters are here.

Mike: Our daughters are here with us.

Clara: I’d expect you to know that by now.

Chris: Clara Howard with the sass, bringing it. Keep bringing it.

Mike: We should probably give some good context on what in the world is happening. Our daughters are taking over today’s podcast episode. They are here with us live in the studio. Thank you for being here. A little applause. So we have Clara and Peyton here in the studio, and they’re going to take over the whole episode. They have questions prepared for us, and in all seriousness, we have no idea what we’re about to be asked. So the tables are turning. These questions could be anything. So we’re giving the rest of the episode to you ladies. Take it away.

Clara: Okay. So, Dad, what do you prefer, Whataburger or In-N-Out?

Chris: Whataburger. As any good man in Texas should.

Mike: Here’s a quick bonus question. Do you say “Whataburger” or “Water-burger”?

Clara: Whataburger. It’s “what a burger” smushed together. It’s not water-burger. I don’t want a water-burger. That sounds soggy. There’s water in every burger. There’s like water and meat.

Mike: Okay. All right. Got your answer.

Peyton: Okay. Father.

Mike: Oh, hello, babe. Good to see you.

Peyton: Why do you wear your hair spiky?

Mike: Ooh, deep question. Chris also has spiky hair. Well, I don’t know if we have the same answers. I started spiking it, I think, when I was like 16 or 17, and I haven’t changed it since then. I have no reason other than that. It’s also out of the way, so I don’t sweat so much and my hair doesn’t get wet. It’s up, you know?

Chris: Spiky Mike. That’s a deep question. Good question.

Mike: They’re rattling them off. Here we go.

Clara: What’s your favorite food?

Mike: Oh, that is such a hard question.

Clara: Because there’s so many foods out there.

Chris: I’ve got to go with something like a Whataburger. A cheeseburger. I’ve always loved cheeseburgers. I try to get as many of them as I can when they’re available.

Clara: That is true.

Mike: You can verify said consumption of cheeseburgers.

Clara: Yes. I see it every Fourth of July.

Mike: That’s funny. Okay, there we go.

Peyton: This is a serious question.

Mike: Okay. I thought the other one was serious.

Peyton: How many laws have you broken?

Mike: Oh, I don’t know if I can recall all that. You’re loving these questions. Well, we’re going to talk in theory, so there’s no record here, because it’s just between us.

Peyton: Just in case of police officers.

Mike: Let’s see. I’ve got a few speeding tickets, a long time ago. Well before your time. At least three. I think I got an excessive noise ticket one time for the exhaust on my car.

Peyton: That’s four. And then you got pulled over that one day.

Mike: Getting pulled over with no ticket doesn’t count. I got a warning from a police officer because I was polite. I got like two different parking tickets. I don’t know if those really count either. Do those count?

Peyton: They do. If you get a parking ticket, that’s technically breaking the law. That’s six.

Mike: And eating a million cheeseburgers from Whataburger. That’s breaking the belt, am I right? Okay, I think that might be it. Less than 10. Anywhere from six to nine times.

Chris: Good question. Hard-hitting question. What do you have, Clara?

Clara: Alrighty. How has God surprised you lately?

Chris: Does a kidney stone count? How has God surprised me lately?

Mike: Did y’all know when someone repeats the question like that, they’re buying themselves time?

Chris: I think for a family member, seeing how God has been taking care of them has been very surprising and very neat. From a financial standpoint, we’ll call it that. It’s been very neat.

Peyton: If you found a genie lamp and you rubbed it and a genie came out, what would your three wishes be?

Mike: Can one wish be for unlimited wishes?

Peyton: No. The genie law is that you cannot wish for more wishes. You cannot wish for someone to rise from the dead. And you cannot wish for someone to fall in love with you. I mean, you are already married, so that kind of makes sense.

Mike: That would be weird. Wow, these are serious genie laws.

Chris: He’s repeating the questions. Buying time.

Mike: Okay, here we go. Can I wish that everyone I know becomes a follower of Jesus? Okay, maybe I should actually say the whole world, not just… I kind of removed everyone else from the world when I said that.

Peyton: That’s one.

Mike: Definitely that I can eat bacon for every meal for the rest of my life, and it has no negative effects on me at all.

Peyton: I would get sick of it pretty fast.

Chris: Unlimited bacon.

Mike: Let’s see, one more. I wonder if there’s something else about bacon.

Peyton: What about money, or other subjects other than bacon?

Mike: What about swimming in a pool of cold brew every day?

Peyton: Just if you open your eyes, it’ll get pretty nasty. If it touches everywhere on your body, that’s kind of gross.

Mike: No, no, you’re being silly. Somehow the wish keeps it clean the whole time. I just go outside, get a little cup, dip it into the pool, ready to go.

Peyton: A cold brew pool is ridiculous.

Mike: A cold brew pool is pretty killer. Filters, no pun intended, but pun intended because of coffee. Filtered cold brew in the pool, and endless bacon.

Chris: Salvation for all.

Peyton: Also, salvation for all, yes. Back to you.

Clara: Alrighty. What would you like to accomplish in five years?

Chris: In five years, I would like a published book. Or two.

Mike: That’s all you want to accomplish is the book?

Chris: We didn’t talk about life’s aspirations. We talked about what I’d like to accomplish in five years, amongst other things. Nobody said that, Michael.

Mike: You got me. That’s a good one. Published. Okay.

Peyton: This is another very serious question.

Mike: Okay. I appreciate the intensity.

Peyton: What is the most special Bible verse to you, and why?

Mike: You’ll know this answer. 1 John 4:19. “We love because he first loved us.” Some would say it’s biblical. I think it’s so simple to remember and memorize, but it applies to everything. Why do we do anything at all? Well, because Jesus first, right? He initiated first. We can love people because he did that to us. We can forgive people because he’s forgiven us. We can be patient with people because he’s been patient with us. So we love, or do anything and everything, because Jesus first. First John 4:19.

Peyton: Very good. Mic drop. I’ve memorized that too. When I’m older, I want to get a tattoo, a huge heart, and it says the verse on it. Like maybe a mini version.

Chris: Temporary.

Clara: Alrighty. What is your dream car?

Chris: My dream car is actually a very nice truck, but I haven’t decided between the two.

Clara: What are the two?

Chris: I like an extended cab Ford. And then there’s a GMC that I like. I have a hard time deciding between the two.

Mike: Is it a Sierra?

Chris: Yes.

Clara: I just think a truck is a truck.

Chris: I just want a very nice looking truck.

Mike: What color?

Chris: White.

Mike: Oh, it gets dirty really fast. I would be surprised to hear white. Does he have other white stuff, or is it normally darker?

Clara: It’s usually darker. That is true.

Mike: I thought you were about to say, no, he doesn’t have anything.

Peyton: Okay. All right. Now it’s my turn. If you could design a Super Mario Brothers level, what would it look like?

Mike: At least I’m getting the easy questions. So it has to be within the Mario world, right?

Peyton: Yeah. It can’t be anything like Lamborghinis driving everywhere. It has to be in the Mario world. It can’t be ridiculous.

Mike: Okay. So I think a lot of lava, like they have in the Bowser castles. You’ve got to have a lot of lava and intense music. I’m thinking a lot of bricks, the bricks that fall when you walk across them. I appreciate the theme music, by the way, keep going. So lava, lots of falling bricks. The old-school little green Bowser who shoots the fire would be the main bad guy. And you save the princess, and you save Luigi, and save Toad, all in the same level.

Peyton: Or they could be in different worlds.

Mike: They’re in different spots on the same level. You save them all. So when you’re done, you’ve saved the human race. I feel great about that.

Peyton: Are you going to add any other characters? Like Waluigi and Daisy?

Mike: We’re running out of characters. No, the classic characters. Oh, Yoshi too. He makes a special appearance at the end. He’s being trapped by Bowser also.

Clara: Okay. I’m excited for this one. What was something you did in high school that I don’t know about that got you in trouble?

Mike: Confession time.

Chris: I handed out these things called Trojan parking passes.

Clara: What is that?

Chris: They were ways to get off campus. And somehow I came into a stash of them, and I gave them to my friends, and we got in trouble for it.

Mike: Clarifying question, Clara, with your permission. You somehow came into a stash of them. You just woke up and a stash was in your hand?

Clara: How did you run into the stash, and where was it?

Chris: To talk more about it, I would have to name names.

Mike: Okay. We can make up names for the sake of their identity.

Clara: For this case, it’s Jerry. Jerry gave you a stack.

Chris: Jerry gave us… I do not know. But they got out of my hands quickly, into the hands of my friends, and yeah, we got in trouble.

Mike: Good question. No dittos here.

Chris: Hard-hitting question.

Peyton: I want to choose one of my hard-hitting ones. Oh, this one, definitely. What is the thing you fear the most?

Mike: Oh, like a large thing I’m afraid of?

Peyton: No. Like the thing you’re afraid of the most.

Mike: It’s going to go serious. I would say, let’s say I’m 90. Okay, maybe 99. Like a little bit older than Chris currently. If I’m nearing the end of my life and I look back, one of my fears would be that I wasted a whole bunch of time doing things that didn’t matter. It would be regretting that I didn’t spend enough time doing this or that, or with this person. Having a life where I look back and think, I wasted a bunch of time. That’d be a big fear for me. And spiders.

Peyton: I hate spiders. Me too. Once at camp, we saw a tarantula, and I was like, take a picture of it and send it to him.

Mike: Is spider the worst bug fear?

Chris: Well, I would say yeah.

Clara: I hate cockroaches. Cockroaches are disgusting. Snakes are just terrifying.

Mike: What’s the top one? What’s the one you don’t like the most, Clara?

Clara: Probably the most poisonous snake. Mainly because they could bite you and kill you.

Chris: A spider riding on a snake.

Clara: Just picturing that, I might have nightmares now.

Mike: That’s a haunting image.

Chris: It’s like a whole stack of them, and then it just drops them off.

Mike: It’s like the snake is a school bus.

Clara: Let’s change the subject. What’s your favorite movie?

Chris: My favorite movie is The Princess Bride.

Mike: I know that. Do the girls know that movie at all?

Clara: I do. It’s good.

Peyton: Why do you drive really fast? You drive like 20 miles over.

Mike: That is not accurate.

Peyton: No, it’s like 15 to 20 every time.

Chris: Kids are known for their truth telling.

Mike: See, I don’t feel like I’m driving fast. But this brings up an interesting conversation. Cars have what’s called cruise control. You can turn on cruise control, take your foot off the gas, and the car keeps going. I am not a fan of cruise control, because if I’m driving somewhere, I don’t want to sit back and just relax and enjoy three hours in the car. If I’m driving somewhere, I’m going from point A to point B. I want to get there, because I’m going there for something. So I probably tend to drive, give or take, a mile or two over the speed limit.

Peyton: A mile or two over a hundred miles.

Mike: Definitely not that fast.

Chris: Of course, you girls will always obey the speed limit.

Peyton: If anything, I’ll go under the speed limit. I’ll never go over. I’m scared of driving, not going to lie.

Mike: We can always put a picture of a spider right next to the speedometer. So if you ever start speeding, you slow down.

Clara: I don’t want to be haunted every single time I drive.

Mike: Well, your dad’s probably already haunted you with spiders.

Clara: So thank you, Mr. Mike and Dad. Alrighty. What’s your favorite book?

Chris: My favorite book is The Brothers Karamazov. It’s a long book. Maybe boring.

Mike: What’s the word you said after Brothers?

Peyton: If you think it’s boring, I found The Old Man and the Sea kind of boring, and that is a really boring book.

Mike: The Brothers Karamazov. How do you say it? Say it one more time. I’m trying to get it right. Caramel?

Chris: The Brothers Karamazov. That’s my favorite book.

Clara: Yeah, because it’s about the three musketeers making caramel.

Mike: Okay, here we go. Next question. How many questions do we have left? We’re on the hot seat right now.

Peyton: What is your best, or technically to everyone except a dad, the worst dad joke you have ever heard or made up?

Mike: Oh, just one? Don’t say anything. What is brown and sticky? What is brown and sticky? Chris will give the answer.

Chris: A stick.

Clara: It’s so bad. It’s so bad, it’s funny. What makes you laugh?

Chris: You make me laugh. You’ve got a great sense of humor. Quite a few belly laughs from things that you’ve said and done.

Mike: You also laughed at the poop comment. Everyone laughs at that.

Chris: That’s our gift to you.

Peyton: If you could choose one food to disappear, what would it be, and why?

Mike: Oh, to disappear?

Peyton: To disappear off the face of the planet, and you won’t ever see it again.

Mike: Probably Brussels sprouts. They’re just nothing. What is the point of them? They smell terrible. Brussels sprouts could disappear, and I don’t think anyone would really even complain about it.

Chris: I think we’re behind you on that.

Peyton: Except the person who actually made Brussels sprouts. They’d be like, why did you get rid of my creation?

Mike: Yeah, except for Mr. Brussel. Some little guy walking around.

Chris: “You got rid of my sprouts.” Boom. What’s the next question?

Clara: Okay. What is God teaching you lately?

Chris: Patience.

Mike: Yes, patience. You knew that right away.

Chris: It has been chronicled here. But I’m happy to say God has helped me today…

Mike: Been patient today?

Chris: Well, no. He has helped me to see some success with my sales today.

Mike: Ah, breaking news.

Peyton: Breaking news. Mr. Chris Howard made success with his sales.

Chris: Peyton, that was awesome.

Clara: You should be a newscaster.

Mike: Every time we have breaking news, we’ll just have Peyton.

Chris: This is just the beginning. I actually met my sales goal for the first time. And so thank you, God, for teaching me patience. Please don’t teach me that again.

Peyton: I’m going to have to ask you to be real with me on this one.

Mike: Okay. I’ve been lying the whole time before this, but okay.

Peyton: What is something you want to do more than anything? You can’t die from it or anything like that.

Mike: Something I haven’t done?

Peyton: Something you have not done. What do you want to do more than anything in the world, before you die? And you can’t die from it. If you want to do something like fly, or if you want to do something brutal, like get shot, you can’t die.

Mike: I’m not saying someone shoot me. I would love to experience… I’m going to fly. I want to fly, a hundred percent. If I can’t die, I think I want to… a hundred percent, it would be fly.

Peyton: Like fly to outer space?

Mike: Good question. Flying, for sure. Great question.

Clara: Okay. What do you like to do in your free time, Dad?

Chris: In my free time, I like to eat a block of cheese. No. I like to float in a pool.

Clara: I do see you do that a lot.

Mike: Are you a big lazy river guy?

Chris: Not a big lazy river guy, but a lazy pool guy.

Mike: You just want to be on a raft.

Chris: I want to be on something floating and doing nothing else. I really enjoy that.

Clara: Also known as my float that he likes to use all the time.

Chris: It does have flowers on it.

Mike: Oh, it does. I’m just envisioning him on a flowery float, just jamming away.

Clara: He’s also wearing a kind of bucket hat.

Chris: I do have a bucket hat. It’s a wonderful sight. The whole getup.

Mike: If we get a picture of that this summer, we’ll post it in our stories. We’ll put it in the show notes.

Clara: Okay. Mom and I might plot to do that.

Mike: Let’s go. How many more questions have we got left?

Peyton: Let me count. Eight more. I’m probably going to have nine.

Mike: She’s busting out the scroll.

Peyton: Okay, go. All right, here we go. Why do you love Mommy?

Mike: When I first met my true love… I want to say the first date we had was a six-hour coffee at Starbucks. One of the reasons I go to Starbucks a lot, by the way. And I think I knew within the first 30 minutes of us talking that I loved her and that we were going to get married. That, by the way, is because we were a little older, mid-twenties-ish or something like that. By then we’d dated some various people, and we just knew by that age what we were looking for, and I think what the Lord was leading us toward, which is also why we had a six-hour coffee. So we found out pretty fast, but I feel like I knew right away. I started loving her then. And I love the woman of God she is. Because no matter what is going on in her life, she will go back to the Bible and go, okay, what does God say about this? What would Jesus do about this? She always comes back to that and chooses that decision. And so that makes me love her more and more each day.

Peyton: I love it. That’s a great question. Are you lying about this too, though?

Clara: All righty. This one: would you rather be Batman or Superman?

Chris: I would rather be Batman.

Clara: Why is that?

Chris: Darkness. No parents. Super rich. Kind of makes it better.

Peyton: What is your dream job?

Mike: I really love what I’m doing now. I’ve had a lot of jobs.

Peyton: You wouldn’t want to test out video games and get paid for it?

Mike: No, that’s fun, but no. I’ve had so many jobs in my past. Doing ministry, for sure. A thousand percent. I love waking up and going to work every single day.

Peyton: Just be a pro gamer. You play a lot of Zelda.

Mike: Any Zelda players would know. What I do now, 100%, hands down. I could do ministry the rest of my life. I’m just going to keep going until time ends.

Chris: So what have we got, Clara? What’s the next one for us?

Clara: Okay. Who is your favorite book or movie character?

Mike: Like the Brothers Caramel?

Chris: Favorite characters…

Mike: Harry from Dumb and Dumber. Or Lloyd. Lloyd Christmas.

Chris: No, I’m going to say I get a lot of laughs out of Inigo Montoya.

Mike: What’s his catchphrase? Do his catchphrase, because I think, Peyton, you’ve heard this before. It’s from The Princess Bride.

Chris: “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

Peyton: Okay, next question. What is one superpower you want the most, and why?

Mike: Besides flying?

Peyton: Besides flying. You already said that.

Mike: Who wouldn’t like to fly? Let’s see. Part of me sometimes thinks laser eyes, but that’d be a little too intense.

Peyton: You’d use it for like two seconds.

Mike: It would just destroy everything.

Chris: One bad day with laser eyes.

Mike: One wrong look.

Peyton: And someone becomes a hot dog. A wiener dog becomes a hot dog.

Mike: Now, if you’re hungry for hot dogs, it’s not the world’s worst idea.

Peyton: No, you’d kill someone and eat it and become a cannibal. That’s not a good thing.

Mike: Yeah, that’s bad. Not a good superhero. What if it’s unlimited strength?

Peyton: You could do that.

Mike: Okay. If that’s approved, then unlimited strength. I could use that in different ways. I could lift a really heavy plate of hot dogs.

Peyton: You could lift this whole entire building. You could lift the world. Lift it with your finger.

Mike: Unlimited strength. Okay then. All right.

Clara: If you could be a plant, what would you be?

Mike: I don’t even know enough plants. Cactus.

Chris: A Venus flytrap.

Clara: Why is that?

Chris: Because you can still eat things when you decide. You get to eat bugs.

Peyton: You’re next. Michael. Michael Joseph Mobley.

Mike: Yes, baby.

Peyton: What is your all-time biggest achievement?

Mike: Oh, it’s hard for me to think of it as my achievement. I think it was the Lord who blessed me with my family. Getting married and having children. Having you, and having Matthew. A hundred percent.

Peyton: That’s so sweet, Miguel. That’s so sweet. Michael Joseph Mobley.

Mike: Oh, good. We’re saying full confidential information over the podcast.

Chris: That’s a hard-hitting question.

Clara: I’m going to save this one, because it’s a really good one, but I’m going to go to the next one. What’s your least favorite food?

Chris: Least favorite food. I’m going to say spinach.

Clara: It’s in a lot of stuff. I can understand that.

Mike: You would choose broccoli over spinach?

Chris: I’d choose broccoli every day.

Mike: Everyone likes a tiny little tree.

Peyton: What’s yours, Daddy?

Mike: Is this one of your questions? I said Brussels sprouts earlier. Here’s a hot take. People are not going to like this answer. I hate onions so much.

Chris: You monster.

Mike: Here’s the deal. Onions are in everything, basically. So I can do something that has onion flavor, but if I crunch it, if I hear that crunch or smell it…

Peyton: Who is your favorite Disney character? Like, Disney princess.

Mike: Wait, princess? Oh, I don’t know. Can y’all rattle off some Disney princesses?

Peyton: Mulan, Pocahontas, Cinderella, Aurora. Tiana, Belle.

Chris: Any other ones? Gertrude.

Peyton: I don’t think Gertrude is his favorite princess.

Mike: Helga. Who else?

Peyton: I’m thinking. Merida. Ariel, she’s the mermaid. Elsa, Anna.

Mike: I don’t know any of them. What about the Sleeping Beauty woman?

Peyton: Gotcha. Aurora.

Mike: Yes. Her name is Aurora. Let’s go with Aurora.

Peyton: I literally knew you were going to do that.

Clara: Is this the last question?

Mike: How many questions do we have here? We might need to do two more questions. Pick your final two.

Clara: This one is a good one. What’s something embarrassing that happened to you when you were a kid?

Chris: I spelled the word “coal” C-O-L-E, because I had a teacher named Mrs. Cole, and she wrote it on the blackboard, and I saw that every day. So instead of spelling it C-O-A-L, I spelled it C-O-L-E in front of the whole class.

Mike: Name another thing. Buy yourself more time.

Chris: I threw up on the track.

Mike: There we go. That’s a good one. Why’d you throw up?

Chris: Because I was running.

Mike: Did you throw up a cheeseburger? A Whataburger?

Chris: Probably. In front of the cheerleaders.

Mike: Oh, that’s embarrassing. Okay, Peyton.

Peyton: It’s your turn. What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you in front of someone?

Mike: Was this on your list of questions?

Peyton: No, but I got intrigued. Like really embarrassing, and it happened in front of a lot of people.

Mike: So, in fourth grade, I was running somewhere, back to the classroom, and I tripped. I think over my own feet, actually. Thanks for bringing that up. And I fell on my front tooth and chipped it. It made a sound effect like that. I think it was in front of the whole class, like in front of multiple classes. So not only was it embarrassing, but then everyone’s like, what happened? And you smile and everyone’s like, part of your tooth is missing. Tripping in front of the class and then chipping my tooth. Icing on the cake.

Peyton: Was that the chip you had to get fixed?

Mike: Same chip. It’s been chipped ever since fourth grade.

Peyton: So now I know everything.

Clara: Okay. What is something you want me to know?

Chris: I just want you to know Jesus loves you every day. Every day.

Mike: She’s like, I know.

Chris: But tomorrow I want you to know it. And the day after that.

Clara: And the day after that, and the day after that.

Mike: Good answer. Okay. Final question. Drum roll.

Peyton: I can’t do a good drum roll. What’s your favorite holiday?

Mike: Christmas. Very special.

Peyton: Why is it Christmas?

Mike: I like the time of year, what it stands for, the lights, the weather, presents, family time, the whole season. Honestly, for a couple of months. Another hot take: I’m okay starting to decorate early.

Peyton: Hey, I’m wearing a hoodie right now. I’m ready. I have a mini Christmas tree in my room.

Mike: Some people don’t want to start celebrating until after Thanksgiving. I think we can still honor Thanksgiving and celebrate Christmas in July. Okay. So thank you for the questions, ladies.

Clara and Peyton: No problem. Glad we got to take over.

Mike: Now this is the part where we take back over. We have a couple things for you.

Clara and Peyton: Oh no. I was not expecting this.

Mike: You’re going to vote. We’re going to give you five questions, and you vote which one was the best. Listen carefully.

Chris: I believe I’m up. What did the police officer say to his belly button?

Clara: Are these dad jokes?

Chris: “You’re under a vest.”

Peyton: These are dad jokes. These are so bad. I’m going to die.

Mike: Okay, hold on. Remember that one. What do you call a rude cow? Beef jerky.

Peyton: I like Mr. Chris’s.

Mike: We’re not done. We’ve got more for you.

Chris: What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?

Clara: A can’t opener.

Mike: Nice job, Clara.

Clara: I’ve heard you say that one before. It was a few years ago.

Mike: Last two. When’s the best time to call your dentist? 2:30. Tooth-hurty.

Clara: That’s a good one.

Mike: Yeah, that’s in the running. Okay, last one.

Chris: Where do sheep go on vacation? The Baa-hamas.

Mike: So: police officer, rude cow, can opener, tooth-hurty, sheep in the Baa-hamas. What’s your top one?

Clara: I’d say the can opener, because I got that one.

Chris: Now we come to a time that I think Mr. Mike and I have been looking forward to, because we get to share a little bit from our hearts. We have our daughters here, who we love, and we just want to say a little thing to you before we put this wonderful episode to bed.

Clara: Last time you did this, I started bawling.

Chris: There’s no guarantees. We might bawl. Okay, so Clara. What a joy it’s been, and is, to be your dad. You are smart, honest, sweet, kind and loyal, and many other things I admire. You’re beautiful both inside and out, and I love how God is shaping you, challenging you and rewarding you as you continue to put him first. I love the time we get together, whether talking, singing, being silly or all of the above. I respect that you stand up for yourself and others at such a young age. You’ll always be a miracle to me, and I’m your biggest fan. Well, along with your mom, because she thinks you’re pretty special also. Love you.

Clara: Love you too.

Mike: Well said. That was very good. Peyton, I wrote this down too, so I can remember it, so the emotions wouldn’t hit me. Hey, you continue to amaze me. You’re such a strong leader who stands up for Jesus around you, even when no one else does. And you’re silly. You’re beautiful. You have a contagious laugh, and you never shy away from cuddling. I’ve loved you from the very start, and I’ll always continue to love you. And I’m so incredibly proud of you. I’ll also continue to give you treats when no one else is looking, because of how much joy it brings you. But that can be our own little secret. We won’t tell anyone about it.

Peyton: Well, I mean, it’s kind of spread now.

Mike: Oops. Thank you for loving me so well and teaching me how to be a better daddy each and every day. I love you.

Peyton: Thank you. This time I did not cry.

Mike: So that’s it. You’ve got about 30 seconds to close out the episode however y’all want. It can be silly. It can be a dance party. Go.

Clara and Peyton: All right, party people. This is officially the end of this podcast. Hope you had a fun time, and we hope you had some laughs and weren’t just dying of boredom, because that would not be the best thing. And we are just glad you tuned in to this episode and got to hear it from our point of view.

Mike: That’s right. There we go. Thank you, ladies.

Outro: Thanks so much for joining us. Please consider rating and reviewing our podcast and hitting subscribe on whichever platform you prefer. Remember to keep moving forward, because we’re not quite there.

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Mike Mobley
Follower of Christ, Husband to Joelle, Father to Peyton & Matthew, Finance & Operations Pastor at 121 Community Church, SAG-AFTRA Actor, Founder of Before The Cross, Owner of MMWCS, and Podcast Host for the Not Quite There Show.

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